Where we are at…

So this is my first post…

My life is never simple… I said that to S (my mental health nurse) when I first saw her back in September but I think she took it as a depressive statement rather than fact. Everytime I see her there is a huge list of events that suck.
For example… I saw S on Thursday, in the two weeks before…
I phoned CAMHs to see if they got dinky’s referral that was sent in October, they hadn’t.
So I phoned the GP practice only to find it was awaiting my signature and for me to fill in my section.
I go down to fill it in and sign it, only to find the referral section filled by the GP was copied and pasted from August, and no relevant info was on there.
So I arrange a GP appointment to go over the referral and hope it can be redone so that dinky can get some support.
The GP appointment was a nightmare, the GP was condesending, patronising, jumped to conclusions and raised her voice at me. Of course I didn’t take it well, I shouted back and walked out.
I wrote a complaint and saw a practice partner who was also a GP to discuss the referral. While we were there Dinky managed to pull the cover of the scales, get herself stuck under the bed, and pull the cuff off the blood pressure monitor. She was also highly disruptive, kept interrupting and when playing was very loud. So the GP did the referral properly.
I signed it and it was sent.
We are on the first floor of the hostel and the woman under us has two kids.. A 2 year old and a 2 month old. The week or so before she had started putting the heating up to 26 degrees celecius. I am not a fan of heat. It makes me very irritable. So we got into this I turn it down, she turns it up, I turn it back down, she turns it back up battle. I asked others if they were hot and each of them said yes, it was too hot in the hostel. So I researched temperatures and babies rooms are supposed to be between 16 and 20 degrees as anything higher could increase the risk of cot death. I wrote a note and stuck it to the thermostat. She came pounding up the stairs. Apparently her 2 month old had a blocked nose and a little cough so it must be flu… I know… Hypochondriac in the house! I told her what the NHS website recommended and she ignored it and began shouting. I was not in the mood so I left it. Over the course of 5 days we had 3 discussions. She let slip that she always had her window open and that she didn’t put blankets on him. I felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall. I lost my temper a little and said that if she wanted to put her kid at risk because she was too stupid to close the window so be it. Then she said “I feel like I’m being picked on… Is it because of my colour?” I almost hit the roof! I am white, she is Asian. But that never crossed my mind! I told her “I don’t care if you are White, Black, Asian or pink with polka dots for that matter… If you wind me up and make me uncomfortable I will say something!”
Racist? I have never been racist, I always had this saying when confronting racists ‘everyone is human, cut us and we all bleed the same colour’. I can’t and won’t tolerate racism. The same as I can not and will not tolerate being called a racist because I disagree with someone who just happens to be a different colour on the outside.
Dinky started play therapy at school that week too. And I had parents evening, the teacher was nice, but said Dinky needs to listen more, pay attention, do as she is asked, stop talking constantly, stop using the toilet as an excuse not to do school work, and she can get angry and aggressive so much so the teacher (Mrs N) has learnt not to touch her and to remove herself and other children from dinky when she gets angry. Dinky is becoming increasingly worried about where I am which is the complete opposite of what should happen as children settle into school.
Nothing I didn’t know but it is still hard to hear. All of these things are on dinkys referral to CAMHS.
So when I told S about the fortnight in between appointments she was slightly taken aback. She conceded that I was right and that things never are simple in my world. I seem to spend the hour every fortnight just going through all the crap from the previous 2 weeks. She could not understand how I laughed about it all and how I seemed happy especially after being down the previous 2 times I saw her. I told her I am used to it.
 
I only have one appointment left in two weeks before she goes on holiday for Christmas.  
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