Another complication

Dinky is a result of a drunken one night stand with a friend… The one and only one night stand I ever partook in, but she is here because of it none the less. Her biological father has never wanted anything to do with her. He has never seen her or provided her with anything. His mum has seen her a few times and even had her overnight for a few days. Dinky is very close with her grandma, her husband and their 1 year old labrador Buster.
Yesterday I had a phone call from her grandma. They are moving to Ireland in just over 2 weeks. While it might be the right thing for them to do for themselves it is going to have a devastating affect on dinky. It is all well and good the grandparents saying they will have her over in Ireland for holidays and talk to her on the phone, but previously they have let dinky down plenty of times and even living just 2 hours drive away, they never saw her as much as they said they would. They never phone her as much as they said they would either. I don’t even know how to break this to dinky. She is going to be heartbroken. The grandmother said she would tell dinky what was going on but I’m worried that she will give false promises and offers which will never get followed through. That might ease her guilt knowing that dinky is being referred to CAMHS and is receiving play therapy at school, but it won’t do dinky any favours in the long run. She will get all excited about going to Ireland on a plane and it will never happen.
I worried that it will make dinky’s behaviour worse. I’m worried about how much it will affect her.
Then to top it all off they want to see her before they go, which might have to be a school day, so they want me to take her out of school. No consideration to dinky’s education either. I really am getting fed up with it all.
So I spent 30 minutes talking to the deputy head of dinky’s school about the situation. She is going to get back to me about the possibility of letting dinky have a day off companionate leave as she agreed with me that saying goodbye was important, and hopefully at least with a goodbye she can understand it more. Dinky is not yet actually compulsory school age as she doesn’t turn 5 until February, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Thankfully the deputy head is going to speak to dinky’s play therapist and get her to phone me so we can work out how to do this in the right way to minimise the damage to dinky.
It is just another thing to work out, sort and deal with.

So another week, another complication, and something else for S to raise her eyebrows at next week.


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