Dinky’s school

The teacher Mrs. N, she tries to keep 30 children happy throughout the day. The teaching assistant Mrs. H, well dinky says she is her best friend and does her best work for her.
It was the infant school performance today, I was so proud of my girl, she didn’t exactly do as she was told or follow the rules, but she sang and danced and was so happy, which made me happy and was on the verge of tears. I could have burst watching her perform. Sat directly in front of me was the play therapist. She pulled me into the play room and she asked about what we were going to do for Christmas. She was kind and said nice things but it is hard being here for Christmas. No matter how i try and tell people we will be fine, I don’t necessarily believe it. Dinky will be mostly happy, although this Christmas will be hard for her, its her first Christmas without the kid we lived with, it’s the first one she will remember with no contact from her grandma or grandad, it is her first christmas where my dad doesn’t spend the day with her. We have a little room so it will be difficult for her to play and I can’t help but think she deserves a million times better than what I can do. It doesn’t help that all the adverts are of happy, normal (ish) families all celebrating Christmas in their houses, with all the lights, decorations and smiles. Half the time I want to smash the tv, shield her from the reality this year. She doesn’t need to know that tons of families will all get together for the big day and have a big dinner and the kids run around the houses playing with all the new toys at once because they have the space to do so. She doesn’t need that. As much as I try to look on the bright side of it, we have each other, she will be happy she got everything on her list and she will see my dad for most of that week just not Christmas day because he doesn’t drive and transport shuts down. But the bad side does outweigh the good stuff. I don’t know how she will see it. I just hope she doesn’t remember it as she gets older.
I can’t wait for this whole experience to be a distant memory. One of those “yeah, when dinky was 4 we lived in a hostel, we spent christmas there on our own which was crap, but have had great Christmases ever since!”.

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