Christmas

Long gone are the days where Christmas was all about the birth of Jesus. I was baptised Catholic, so now I’m atheist. So that doesn’t really other me.
So what is Christmas about these days?
The media portrays it as a time for families to get together and share gifts and a meal. Every advert not containing children’s toys is about the Christmas dinner and all the family around the table passing round potatoes and gravy.

3 weeks before Christmas I found out that we wouldn’t be spending Christmas at dinky’s grandmas as they were going to go to Ireland. One of the other mums said that she was going to be alone here at christmas because her husband was working at the airport. She said we should go halves on the dinner. I agreed and said I would cook.
Then 10 days before Christmas we get an offer to go to dinky’s grandad’s, he hadn’t seen her for 3 years, until August. She didn’t know who he was. I don’t think either of us would have been comfortable somewhere we didn’t know with people we didn’t really know. I would have been very aware that we were stuck there due to lack of transport on christmas. So I decided to stick with the original plan.
Christmas eve the other mum said she wouldn’t be up until mid day, and her husband was due home at 3.30pm. I was disappointed because knowing dinky she would be up early and it would just be us. I felt a bit used. So I was going cook little after she got up and then spend an hour or two after dinner with them, then spend an hour or two trying to get dinky to go to sleep then spend the evening on my own. That is not spending Christmas together!
Being in the hostel meant that my dad couldn’t come up because the rules state that no one is allowed to sleep over. Transport doesn’t work on Christmas day so he was all alone in his little room.
We got up at 5 am and dinky opened all her presents. We played for a little bit in the room and then went down to the communal living room. The heating was broken in there so it was cold. Dinky spoke to my dad on the phone, then her grandma. After she started getting upset. She said we didn’t have family at Christmas, she missed the little one we used to live with. She wanted to see my dad and her grandma.
I got upset because she was upset. Then I got angry. The person who made us homeless was undoubtably spending Christmas with either her mum and her housemate and daughter, or her dad, step family including mum brother and sister aunt and uncle and cousins. She would have a meal cooked for her, she would be away from the hostel she put herself in, and her kid would get spoiled rotten. Not even sparing a thought for the single mum she made homeless, and her daughter, and her father. No she makes us homeless and still gets everything she wants! Without meaning to sound like a child… it just isn’t fair, there is no repercussion for her yes she is in a hostel too, but she has her family. She spends most weekends at either house. She has gone back to work so she only really sleeps in the hostel. This I found out from a friend of mine who knew us both when we lived together.
The other mum didn’t get up until 1.45pm. I started dinner at 2pm. Her one job while I was cooking was to entertain the kids, and keep them out of the kitchen. I popped in to the living room as often as I could. But they still kept coming in and I was worried that be of the kids was going to get hurt. I served dinner at 4.30. Her husband turned up at 4.45. We finished eating at just gone 5pm. Put dinky to bed at 6.20pm and spent the evening on my own. So much for Christmas!

Next year we will have our own place and my dad can come and we can have a family Christmas. I know it is just one extra person. But he is the only family we need. I felt awful with him on his own for Christmas.
He was supposed to come up boxing day but the trains were not stopping at our station for some reason. So we won’t see him until Sunday. We are suppose to be going to see dinky’s grandma, grandad and auntie on Saturday.

So all in all a rubbish Christmas. However hard I tried, I let dinky down.

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