It is a happy and a sad thing… Let me explain…
Well, it is extra money for things she needs or that would help her that other children wouldn’t need and opens the door to activities that she can access that she couldn’t before. It makes my life easier as I was dreading having to tell the job centre I couldn’t attend a sign on because my daughter was going to be assessed for autism spectrum disorder. Or finally get into work and have to go to meeting after meeting for dinky. Now I can be her carer while she gets assessed and then I can find a job in my own time.
How can it not be. My baby, my little miracle, my dinky is classed as having a disability. Even typing that is hard. No parent wants others to label their child as special needs, Special educational needs, disabled, or have a disability.
That is what this award says… Your child is disabled. You child has special needs. Your child will never be like other children.
Is this a big shock. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. I can’t tell. No, not really. From January I have come to accept in time that yes dinky is not like other kids her age. No it is not housing related. No it won’t go away and no it doesn’t change who she is but it does crush the hope that she will grow out of her extreme behaviour. It sucks all the hope out of me that one days she will not be so anxious when it comes to a demand filled environment. She won’t stop spinning after school, she won’t stop chewing EVERYTHING, she will never act her age and although she is bright she will always fall behind because she can’t handle the classroom environment.
Do I home school? No. I am the worst possible person to teach her. I taught her a lot but I get very frustrated and I’m only reinforcing what she learns now.
What is the answer? I don’t know. My head is a bit of a mess… I will think, I will write again