I am really starting to like this integrated services lady.
when I first imagined her turning up, I imagined a woman, late 40’s, brown hair tied up in a bun, glasses, brown tweed skirt suit with shoulder pads, name tag precisely placed, and a clipboard.
In reality I got a late 30’s, dyed blonde hair (with visible roots), trousers and flowery top, back pack, lanyard with name tag the wrong way round, no clipboard.
I imagined the worst, I imagined bad parenting, my past, our homelessness to come up and be used as a reason for the way dinky is.
Instead I got ‘you seem to be doing your best for dinky’.
I didn’t know what to expect today. I didn’t know how dinky would react. It could have gone many ways
- She could have been the ideal compliant child (making me look crazy!)
- She could have jumped all over the lady
- She could have hid the entire time
- She could have tried to be herself
What did she do?
She was ultimate PDA child!
The lady came in, she got some pictures out for dinky to colour in. Dinky didn’t want to colour. So she read the lady one of her reading books instead, when the book was finished she tried again, dinky decided to try the reading again. The lady asked if she had any colouring pencils. I got dinky’s colour box out. Which Dinky had filled with toys. She started showing the lady the toys. The lady coloured a little while dinky lined up her toys. The lady asked dinky to colour with her, dinky showed her all the colours and said she couldn’t because she didn’t have the right one. She showed the lady how her pen had a click top. I was reading the new CAF form we did on the last visit (chuckling at the demand avoidance behind the paper). The lady started asking dinky about school, dinky then picked up a yellow felt tip and said she was going to call it golden. She completely ignored the lady and started colouring, Again I was chuckling.
Unable to stop the questions she answered with wrong answers. Then she went off into fantasy, she told an awesome story about a dream about a wolf that snuck in her room to eat her. But she caught it by the tail and split his head in 2 (don’t ask me where she got that from). He wasn’t alone, he had an army! An army of 152 wolves and she did the same to them, then there were 55! Then they had babies, the babies were very small. She wanted to keep one of the babies.
I tried to make the lady a cuppa, but dinky wanted to come in with me to make it. I tried a number of things to get her to stay in the living room but she didn’t want to. So I got my ipad and dinky showed the lady pictures from London zoo.
Then Dinky coloured a little more, then decided she had, had enough and turned the TV on. The lady commented on the fact that dinky is a character! Oh yes!
Dinky then wanted a film on. I said she could when the lady left. She then hit punched me twice, I said she would get a warning if she carried on. she punched me again, I went to the warning chart (which doesn’t work but I use it anyway, it was good for her to see how useless it is), dinky took the warning off and threw it in the bin. I tried to stop her going back to it, she kept hitting me, screaming and reaching full meltdown, no-one needed that. So I backed off, let her trash the chart. She grabbed my keys and ran upstairs with them. I explained that me stopping her would have added fuel to the fire. I told her that if I leave her she will calm down and that is what happened. She was jumping on me and cuddling and slapping my leg at the same time, but apparently she wasn’t the one smacking, it was a ghost.
She made noises so that the adults couldn’t have a conversation and tried to control both of us.
I felt dinky had shown enough at this point to show the lady the PDA criteria.
She was wide eyed and nodding. She asked if I was going to show the paediatrician this on the 9th of July for our appointment, I said yes, although I was semi reluctant as I don’t want the paed to think I was consulting doctor google.
She agreed dinky fit the criteria and we went through just the bits she had shown.
The demand avoidance for the colouring- distraction, suggesting alternatives, making excuses, arguing, before withdrawing into fantasy.
Dinky appears sociable, but it is obvious she struggles socially.
She said it was amazing how quickly she switched from content to violent with no provocation.
I had given her the SaLT report and she nodded at the language delay.
After the London zoo Pictures dinky shoed her the ones from her 4th birthday, which everything was space. Obsessive behaviour.
Behaviour modification not working- not only the warning system, but I showed her the incident reports from the 4 hours yesterday at the leisure centre.
She said she was going to amend the CAF form. I don’t know if she is going to add the PDA into it. If she does she does, if she doesn’t, it can get brought up at our first TAC.
She said she was going to phone the school next week, as she couldn’t get hold of the senco the week before half term. She is going to ask what support they have put into place. I laughed and said none. She smiled and said yes, she knows they haven’t, but they might after she speaks to them. Also the will have to in consideration to the SaLT recommendations.
Have I mentioned that I quite like this lady!
Right now Dinky is in my room with the curtains shut, watching Netflix on her 7 inch tablet I got with her DLA. She desperately needs some down time. Especially as she has swimming later.
It looks as if this lady is really on our side!