Today, I had a brief conversation with the Head teacher of Dinky’s school.
She is just like the head of dinky’s old school, and it does not surprise me that they worked well together in a different county!
I was explaining the whole ‘experience’ of dinky starting at her school. At one point she cut me off….
HT: Is it just the two of you
Me: Yes, we did share a house with a friend, but it is the two of us.
HT: Well, I thought I would ask as from 0-3 children form attachments, but if someone just disappeared out of her life it could cause an attachment disorder.
Me: I don’t think it is an attachment disorder.
She went on to say that she is going to get all her staff who come into contact with Dinky together and get a better understanding of what she is like in school. She said she would contact the first school and speak to her good friend. Also she wants to contact the CAF lead professional.
I am not sure what is going to happen but she is going to get back to me Friday.
I’m just so sick of everyone assuming that it is anything but what it probably is. Thankfully this ignorant and arrogant head teacher is not a medical professional and her opinion matters very little in terms of Dinky. I was shocked by her assumption and plan on putting her straight, I intend to write a letter to her explaining that while she is entitled to her opinion, even if it is after meeting me for all of 10 minutes and never having met Dinky. Also that dinky will be attending the autism spectrum clinic within the child development centre for assessment. This is the direction the medical professionals are going in and I would appreciate any other gems of unqualified assessment be kept to herself in future.
I understand that this may seem harsh but I will not allow someone to make out that I am to blame for dinky’s difficulties, when I finally get round to stopping blaming myself for how dinky is. Also if I let them walk all over me now they will continue to do so.
Dinky’s refusing to get ready to go to school is getting worse, and the meltdowns afterschool, while not as bad as Friday or last Sunday, are still happening and is now almost a daily occurrence. However today she was a pickle coming out of school as the teacher wanted to talk to me. She had had a bad day at school.
On the way home I let her pick dinner from the shop and she could pick a snack for the way home.
Once home I let her pick when dinner was, and how much she had. She span for a few minutes and then sat to watch Netflix. After dinner I sat down with her and asked her, when she was relatively calm, if she liked school. She said no, her reasons were:
- I don’t like being told what to do
- I don’t like carpet time because I want to sit on my own
- I want to be the teacher
- I don’t want to write- all we do is write, write, write
add that to her previous reasons from last week
- My teachers don’t believe in me (maybe meant believes her?)
- X wont play with me anymore
- My teachers tell me not to worry but my brain does it
I must admit I did say to the teacher, after she said Dinky was harder to handle today, that I was less than impressed with the head, and that dinky is getting worse at home too. That dinky doesn’t want to go into school in the mornings and we had a massive meltdown last week because she realised it was back to school. I told her I don’t want to see my daughter suffer, she is 5 and in her first year of school, and I can see this is only going to get worse. I also confided that I am losing faith in their willingness to support her, she may be academically able but she needs support with the other side of schooling, the social and behavioural aspects.
The teacher agreed, she said that they will try to find a way forward starting with the meeting tomorrow. She will try and make sure that the SENCO is brought in properly, as now she is playing up more in class.
I just hate seeing her like this.
I have to think about the good things though… she still cracks me up on a daily basis!
We were walking home and dinky wanted to stroke a dog, so I let her. instead of saying goodbye she barked at the dog. I asked why she barked
“Because dogs don’t speak English!”
Gotta love her!
Tomorrow should be interesting with the meeting at school!