I love Dinky to the ends of the universe and back again.
However today I am physically, mentally and emotionally drained!
After the sending home yesterday, I went in this morning to find out exactly what they are calling it and what they plan on doing.
I walked into the office and asked the receptionist if she could find out whether or not Dinky was formally excluded yesterday. She said she would find out for me.
I wasn’t expecting for her to come back and take me to the head teacher! The head wasn’t in yesterday and nor was the deputy, apparently they are the only ones allowed to exclude a child formally, so Dinky was just sent home as a ‘cooling off’ period. She did say that she was going to find out exactly what happened and then make sure it does not happen again!
(This is not exactly the breakthrough it sounds like. It is definitely illegal for them to have sent dinky home according to UK law.)
We discussed the issues of sending her home yesterday and the possible consequences if they were to start formally excluding her.
I explained that I did not want Dinky to realise that one way out of doing what she is supposed to be doing is to be violent towards other children or the school’s staff. No-one goes to work to be attacked and I assured her I do not condone Dinky’s behaviour, however the reasons behind the behaviour need to be looked at. I was told that dinky refused to do as she was told by an adult and then kicked a teacher. Maybe if they pushed too much for her. I don’t know.
We discussed the need to be in control again, and we discussed the possibility of dinky’s future. The head said that while she hopes that the school will be the right placement for dinky, there is a possibility it might not be the right setting in the future. She is not sure whether or not this will happen. She said that she has an 80% success rate with children like Dinky. The 20% that she is unsuccessful with were a lot older.
I think I misjudged the head, as I caught her off guard, and I met her when I was not in the best of moods. However at the moment I am merely impressed with her straight talking and plan making. The proof is in the pudding, as they say.
Anyway back to our conversation… She asked what happened when dinky got home. So I told her after wrestling her home, she trashed her room and then she fell asleep on me for a few minutes before the phone rang. She asked me if I had a camera phone. Then if I could take pictures as it might help if we were to get a statement down the line.
I told her that I had been told that we should apply for a statement for dinky but I wasn’t sure. She said that if I were to request it then it would be looked at quicker than if the school did it. She said I should have a look at the SENCOP and see where we stand on statutory assessment.
I do realise that sometimes I say things in meetings that might not come out right or may sound off, but sometimes I forget to say all that I am thinking. Like I was thinking it would make it easier for them if I do it and then they would get more funding. I think it came out as “yes, well maybe the school doesn’t have the resources to deal with dinky’s needs, as she had to come home yesterday, she has already missed one trip”. The difference between the two statements is that the first one I sound like I am trying to help, the second sounds like a criticism of her school. Maybe I should suggest that we have contact via email? I don’t know.
She said she will find out what happened yesterday and let me know tomorrow as I have a meeting arranged with her then anyway.
When I got home I was reading the SENCOP and then phoned my key worker to let her know what had happened.
I called SEN SOS, and asked them for their take. Again it was suggested that if they felt the need to send her home, despite the head teacher’s assurances that it won’t happen again, that they probably need extra help and they can get that with the statutory assessment. Then if it leads to a statement then it will only help the school.
I can’t get over how surreal the whole situation is.
Then I have a massive argument with my dad.
He still hasn’t read anything on PDA, he asked me about the appointments with the school and integrated services today. Not when they actually happened. Then he actually took everything I said and threw it back in my face.
I have managed to get both the integrated services and the school to take PDA on board (granted the integrated services more than the school – but there is still time for that! J ), but my own father. No.
I must admit at about 1pm I just cried.
I have had enough. Meeting after meeting and although things are said, Dinky still got sent home from school illegally. I feel like I have spent this whole week in meetings. Another 2 tomorrow. I don’t have much real life support, my dad is normally the one who stands by me, but he just doesn’t get it.
When I collected dinky today she was very tense and anxious. I put the headphones on her to come home. When we got in, I made her dinner, and then drew up a gelli baff bath. Dinky loved it! SO I have ordered her some more!
It is nearly 9pm and she is still awake, playing.
I am shattered tomorrow will be a busy day….