The weekend and decisions…

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So the weekend was as most weekends go. Dinky went to her special need group on Saturday. It took lots of cajoling to get her dressed and out the door, but we made it.
I did some shopping, then when I came back she was in mc Donald’s on the floor screaming.
I was told she did really well during the film but lost it in the last 5 minutes. It was all over a mc Donald’s toy. She was asked what she wanted to eat. She said chips and a milkshake. She didn’t realise this meant no toy. All of the other kids picked happy meals and she didn’t understand why she didn’t have one and lost it.

At home she was ok. I kept it all minimal and she went to bed really well on the melatonin.

Sunday we were supposed to go out with a friend and her daughter. This is the American friend that sat me down and told me she thought Dinky was autistic. Actually it was more like.
“Look your kid is autistic…. X y and z are traits of autism plus a,b,c maybe you should look into getting her assessed.”

So it was surprising that she turned up an hour lad and then let dinky wait some more while we made small talk. Dinky was very much on edge and kept reminding me that we were supposed to be at the park.
Dinky did really well, I had to get her out after 20 minutes as the other child hasn’t eaten lunch and therefore was hungry. We went and had dinner. We sat outside and let dinky run about. To be honest the staff were pretty useless to begin with. One member of staff spilt dinky’s drink and after 10 minutes my friend went up to them and said that dinky was special needs, the waitress spilt her drink,and it was unfair to make her wait like this.
After that the staff were brilliant with her. I think they must have thought she was a little brat after running around outside the boundaries and unable to adjust her volume levels. Also she was a little difficult to sit and eat. For Dinky it was much better than it could have been. She wasn’t under the table and she wasn’t having a meltdown.
After she played in the park. She did hit a child, he is in her class and they have an issue with each other. They are separated frequently at school. I reminded her that hands were not for hitting, but she had already done it. My friend thought it was a little off that I didn’t discipline her more or then shout at her for hanging upside down close to other children.

Once home again melatonin to the rescue, and although we had more bath related drama, she went off pretty easily!

Also during the course of the weekend I managed to get dinky to do the odd word on her homework and for the first time since starting this school at Easter, she completed a weekend homework assignment! It wasn’t great and it was bare minimum, but don’t think anyone expects it to be perfect, it was complete!

Today dinky turned my alarm clock off! I woke up to her watching Netflix, it was 6am.
I went back to sleep as I had only remembered how dirty Simba was just before I went to bed at 11.30pm. It took over half hour to clean him properly, and then I had to towel dry him, because he HAS to go to school or she won’t.
When I woke up again and managed to get the phone back it was 7.50 am! Luckily it didn’t take too much cajoling this morning to get her dressed! She was still protesting but we left on time. Which was nothing short of a miracle.
The school keep asking that I don’t bring her through the gate on the reins so she isn’t different and asked me to try giving her some independence from them. So I have been letting her cross the field near our house and she has done ok so far. I also let her off them just as we come up to school.
Today I was meant to try and give her more freedom.
After school I took her to the park. She had fun, then I decided to try her off the wrist reins as she didn’t want to “be a baby” in front of her friend. I warned her not to run or she would go back on the reins, and I warned her to stop at the road which was 100 yards away. She jogged down with the child to keep up with him and then without thinking or registering she walked into the road. Luckily it is only the road up to the school and therefore not used very often at 4pm, but she didn’t know that. I shouted at her to stop and come back, but she didn’t hear me. I wasn’t too far away at this point and within seconds I was with her and rushed her back onto the pavement. In those few seconds she could have been struck by a car.
That is why she is on reins and that is why I will have her on the reins as needed. No more pushing her and no more allowing the school to make suggestions. Maybe if they stopped other children calling her a baby by enforcing anti bullying policy, then I wouldn’t need to stop her from being different.

This whole thing has led to me deciding to take dinky to a clinical psychologist who uses the Diagnostic interview for social communication disorders (DISCO), along with other input from school and other reports to assess for PDA.
This will cost us £800, but at least I will know one way or another and will be able to give the school a more accurate account of dinky’s needs.

It was also interesting to find that dinky isn’t the only child in our area to be told by the same doctor that they definitely have ADHD and a few traits but not autism. Also he seems to have contradicted himself to others too.

So I will be booking the first of two appointments with the clinical psychologist tomorrow

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