Well, things seem to be back to how they were.
This morning I was joined in my bed by a not so stealthy Dinky at 1am. She wet back off to sleep but then was in full meltdown at 4am as she couldn’t get her tablet device to play Netflix. I was too tired to fix it and that just made her worse. She was attacking me then went and trashed the already messy living room.
When I got up with her at 6am she was on my ipad watching nickelodeon on sky go. We had a bit of a lazy morning with stickers and playing with the guinea pigs.
I asked dinky to go upstairs while I tidied and hovered ready for our visitor from a charity which provides buddies for children with special needs and disabilities it provides parents/carers with a short break and offers the child a chance to access a mainstream group. the Buddy will act as a 1:1 for a child and towards the end of their 12 weeks they will prep the mainstream leaders on how to maintain the support levels needed for the child to continue to be included. So I asked her to play in her room, Dinky hates the hoover, so went up without a fuss.
when the visitor came dinky was anxious. She was running around and showing the lady her trophy and medal from the Vampire ride at chessington. The lady asked what Dinky’s diagnosis was, before I got a chance to answer she asked “adhd?”. I said that is one of the considerations, that she hasn’t got any diagnosis yet but PDA is also a ‘concern’. Strangely enough she had heard of PDA, had printed off the criteria for another family, but hadn’t read it all. She was a little confused about the connection to autism, so I had to try and explain it. Her son is autistic, so I guess it must have difficult to live with a child with classic autism and then be face to face with Dinky and have autism mentioned must be odd. Although it didn’t take long for dinky to show why the short breaks service would be needed/welcomed. Dinky started off by telling the woman to be quiet, and then began jumping all over me. Out of nowhere she goes into meltdown. She cant explain why she is so angry. I manage to calm her down and she says it is because she wanted to watch TV and when we have visitors she is not allowed. So rather than ask she just attacked me. She didn’t fully calm until we got the guinea pigs out just before the visitor left. She was calling me fat head and fatty. Which I guess is actually quite tame compared to many PDA kids!
The visitor didn’t need to ask me some questions as Dinky was showing her all she needed to know. Verbal aggression- yes, physical aggression- yes.
She did say that she could see why I would need the short breaks service. She said her son wasn’t violent. It was just nice for someone to actually say they are going to try and help. As much as I love dinky, she is very hard work, and I would welcome the break. Just for a few hours. (Especially during the summer holidays!!!) We talked about other support… as in, none. She couldn’t believe our TAC only had the head and the woman from integrated services involved and that they both said they couldn’t do anything as it all hinges on the assessments. The only problem is no one quite knows who will be doing assessments and for what.
When the lady left, she said that we should hear in a couple of weeks and should look into what activities I would like Dinky to try. Also she gave me the email of someone who could very well help get the school moving in offering support for dinky!
Dinky was a bit of a pickle after the visitor left. Then she went to her room to jump on her bed. I got everything ready and we headed off to swimming after she had dinner.
She wasn’t impressed because she couldn’t get in the baby pool, she didn’t care that some poor kid had vomited everywhere, she was annoyed because she couldn’t get in the pool. She sat next to her teacher and was kicking her legs in the pool.
I am so PROUD of her swimming!!!!…………………. get this…… She swam with NO floatation devices, and without holding her nose!!! Only for a few seconds, but I am extremely proud of her!!!
When the lesson ended she ran into the small pool and wouldn’t come out. When I finally managed to get her out she tried to go up the stairs to the little slide. I managed to get her to come down. Then she went back into the water. Two teachers tried to get her out, it wasn’t working. In the end we managed to get her out but she was in meltdown. I had to lift her to the changing room, which is not easy when she is wet and slippery, and I am wearing plastic shoe covers.
when I got her into the cubicle she was majorly out of control, screaming and lashing out. She was biting and throwing her stuff so I couldn’t get her dressed. She didn’t want to get dry. I had to try to stop her from hurting herself as she was stood on the bench and was dripping wet. When she had run out of steam for the hitting and biting, she was telling me she didn’t love me and that I was mean. She then caught me with a right hook in the eye. I lost my composure after that and cried.
It probably wasn’t the best thing to do. She didn’t care anyway. It still took a lot for me to get her to the point where I could get her dressed. If I waited for her to do it, I would have been there until it closed!
once she was calm enough to let me finish getting her dressed she asked for biscuits and a drink. So we stopped at the café. She apologised for hurting me and said she does love me. Again I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Again Dinky didn’t seem all that interested.
She did wear her new hot pink ear defenders to and from swimming which was great as for the first time since she started I didn’t have to straddle her holding her ears down the dual carriageway!
She was good on the way home but refused to get herself ready for bed and wouldn’t take her melatonin or ‘vitamins’!
I don’t know what to do with her tomorrow. We cant stay in all day otherwise she would be bouncing off the walls but if we go out she WILL have a meltdown. She is just not coping very well at the moment.
Oh the endless joys of PDA… not!