Not a good day!

To be fair yesterday after swimming wasn’t fantastic either! She was kicked out of the pool early for not concentrating and basically being dangerous by swimming off on her own without a floatation belt as for the past two times hey have stopped doing 1:1.

Today was back to school day 2, I was getting a call from the strategic commissioning manager and Dinky’s 1:1 for football was coming!

Or so I thought!

First off dinky said “I’ve been to school already… Not again!”
Which was fine until, half dressed, she disappeared under the washing! I had to coax her out. Thankfully we left on time. Then she was hitting me on the way to school because she is only allowed 1 toy (I found Simba before I picked her up yesterday). When it was time to line up she went hiding in the bushes, then climbed the apparatus, before going back to the bushes. Her new teacher came over and gave her direct demands, so Dinky screeched at her. Finally she gave dinky choices and she came out albeit rather grumpy and not in the mood for anyone!
I had my suspicions that her now and next wasn’t being used and that actually none of her IEP stuff was being used.
So when I asked her new teacher, she said
“I didn’t think she needed it”.

Ok so her IEP is basically a worthless document designed to shut me up and make it look like they are doing something constructive with the additional finding they get for children with special educational needs!

Fuming, I went to the head teacher.

She said she can get now and next started back up again, and I mentioned the educational psychologist, although I annoyed her by saying that I think it may help as her school obviously can’t handle her correctly. Oh well, she needs to hear it! And she said it is something they can do. I mentioned that making dinky stand in a line and wait for a bell probably isn’t the best option in the morning and she agreed, she will look at dinky coming in through the office instead.
She hasn’t had a personality transplant, she just knows I have been in contact with the higher ups, that or she doesn’t want the grief so early on in the school year. 9am on day 2 is a bit soon for annoying the pushy parents!

So she talks a good talk, but never has she walked the walk so to speak.

By 11 am the 1:1 cancelled.

I was supposed to be getting the call at 12 from high up lady. 12 came and went, no call. I get an email at 12.50pm with info about illegal exclusions and a copy of the letter to the head teachers regarding illegal exclusions.
She then phoned at 1pm to tell me that she might not be able to et a parent supporter but get parent partnership in instead. She asked if Dinky had an appointment yet and we discussed the IEP and how useless it is as the school don’t follow it!
She ended by saying that we should talk again after the TAC.

Since then I have cried and been fuming that everything takes so bloody long, and it is such a fight. It is a fight to get anything done… In the meantime, Dinky suffers.


6 thoughts on “Not a good day!

  1. Oh Trish, what an awful day!! I feel so angry for you!
    These people are all in caring professions!!??

    Give Dinky a big hug from us xxxx

  2. DM this failure of communication between teachers to help with a smooth transition from last years class to this years really is not good enough. To make matters even worse not following Dinky’s IEP because the new teacher, who incidentally I presume has no experience with Dinky, has decided off her own bat to ignore it. This is nothing short of negligence and does she have the authority to ignore and IEP that has been put in place for Dinky by, I presume, the senco. I really would consider pulling her out of school citing the fact that the school are not meeting her special needs by failing to follow the IEP that they put in place and agreed to. As a result of this Dinky is experiencing too much anxiety which is crushing her already fragile mental health. Request a meeting for the school to sort this out as soon as possible and for the new teacher to be educated about Dinky’s needs at which time you will then feel comfortable re introducing Dinky to school. They have broken their contract with you and regardless of Dinky not having a diagnosis they still need to meet her needs as set out on the IEP. You don’t need a diagnosis for a statement, Mollie didn’t have one when she was given 20 hours and so you certainly shouldn’t need one to insist that the IEP is implemented. Actions speak louder than words and if she isn’t in school because they are failing her needs then this may help to speed up the process. Big hugs xxxxxx I ended up doing a similar thing and I took Moll out of mainstream and told her case worker that I would refuse to force Mollie into school as I saw it as nothing short of mental cruelty and that they must find a suitable and specialized placement for her. Good luck for today I will be thinking about you xxxx

    • Thanks Jane,

      I understand what you are saying but they are just treating her as a naughty kid, which is so annoying, I have had the feeling from the day the IEP was written that it was more for the integrated services lady (and a way to shut me up for a bit), than for Dinky. They are saying she doesn’t have any additional needs apart from her challenging behaviour. Which is rubbish and I know it is, the problem is, I can’t prove it because I’m not there.
      I have warned them where this is going and that they may think just because she has held it in at school for 2 days that she is fine. What they don’t yet know is that I had to restrain her on the way home yesterday!
      Even if I tell them that, their answer is… “Well she was fine with us”, even though they have been told by 3 different sets of professionals now that it is NOT my parenting. The reason she kicks off is because she builds the anxiety up through the day and releases it with me because she knows I can tell the difference between her throwing a tantrum and having a meltdown.
      The head is utterly clueless as are the rest of her staff. I will offer to change her schools if they actually help and are honest in the reports for a statement.

      I’m just so bloody angry…

      • Hi Dinky’s Mum. I had exactly the same problems with Dillon’s old school and did the same as Mollie’s mum, took him out and shouted loudly!!! It took a year of phone calls and emails but eventually we found a school who would work with his PDA issues. He is now doing incredibly well seeing he has list nearly a year of schooling. I did find things started to move quicker in finding him a school when I copied in the chief executive of children’s services for Hampshire …… So that may be something to start trying. I found his email by googling and accident! Try to keep positive though, eventually they will listen.

      • hi Tracey,

        Things hopefully will be changing slightly from next week with Dinky starting nurture group in the afternoons. This will give her the space from the class room and is a much more relaxed environment. Also the now and next is being re-implemented next week too.

        I am looking at other schools and will be chasing a statement as a result of the TAC meeting in 2 weeks time..

        I have a big name to drop, and she is working on it…. fingers crossed!


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