Before I delve into the discussion with the senco, I will share the meltdown which resulted in me restraining my own 5 year old daughter.
Dinky made me wait outside her classroom to show me her friend. She had talked about him at the end of last term and now they are in the same class. They both happily ran past the head teacher, laughing and smiling. Which was slightly irritating as I had mentioned how much Dinky struggled after school earlier in the day.
Dinky ran out and then her friend had to leave for gymnastics. This is one of the things that really stuck out for me when reading the criteria for PDA. Dinky gets really obsessive about her friends. The fact that he wasn’t going the same way as her was just not acceptable. She then hit me. I warned her that if she carried on then I wouldn’t be able to take her to the park, we were only supposed to be going for a short time because I was attending the local autism support group later that evening and I had to get myself ready.
She was starting to get distressed as we came to the building opposite the park, she took her wrist reins off and ran for the road to get to the park. I had to stop her so I held onto her this is when she lost control of herself. She was screaming and biting. The most disturbing part was her screaming “YOU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE YOUNG LADY” over and over and over and over again… for a good 20-30 minutes. It was soul destroying. I must admit the few families that did walk past us did not stare or judge, 2 parents actually smiled at me in reassurance. Which was better than judgement.
So we had a day of it yesterday and it was indeed a very bad day.
This morning it was raining and wellington boots to the rescue! She wanted to walk through the puddles. There was no queuing up, I am guessing they let the kids go straight in when it is raining. She went in ok as I said she could take her new smurfs in, that were kindly given to her by some of the local autism support group parents of children who didn’t want them. She was chuffed to bits this morning when I gave them to her!
I left her there (despite my reservations).
I went to my own meeting, went shopping and then came home to relax before picking her up.. well, I say relax, what I really mean is worry incessantly and trawl through facebook!
I then got a phonecall from the senco! She wanted to discuss nurture group with me.
Little did she know I was ready to bombard her with questions regarding Educational psychologist, speech and language, and the IEP.
I was a bit taken aback when I was told that at the very end of last term the early years department had completed a Boxall profile. Which, I didn’t really know much about.
I looked at Dinky’s scores and I had no idea what I was looking at. It was not well explained. All she could say was that her profile was not what you would expect from attachment disorder! So finally definitive proof it is NOT and attachment disorder!
She said that Dinky’s behaviour is what stops her performing to her potential, but she does have the skills and the ability to learn, as she has shown in reading as part of her literacy and numeracy and she isn’t behind academically. What also holds her back is her refusing to take part.
I have been trying to tell them this when she first started in early April!
She also mentioned Dinky’s low frustration tolerance and how quickly she can become volatile. Then how she tends to dominate her peers.
Again, something I had been trying to tell them.
So we went over the profile a little, but like I said she wasn’t making much sense as to what this means for Dinky. I know that she will spend her afternoons in nurture class ‘learning how to comply’ I had to really supress the desperate urge to laugh until my ribs ached! Oh, so close, so, so close! She will also be learning social skills. She mentioned something to do with emotions, but to be fair I’m not sure what her scores were or how that gets rectified.
I then mentioned the paediatrician report that I could see in Dinky’s file and I mentioned the fact that the Paediatrician wont be seeing Dinky again and will be retrained. We went over his report slightly and I pointed out basic errors, then the big error of him saying he has concerns over PDA but not ASD.
I told her about my talks with both the higher ups (who need to have easier titles!). She will talk about the educational psychologist for Dinky in the next palms? meeting.
She will chase up Dinky’s speech and language appointment, she thinks it might be either just before or just after half term.
She wants to hold off on the social communication inclusion team until after the assessment and give nurture group a chance.
The IEP. She aid that she spoke to Dinky’s teacher and her face said it all, she wasn’t impressed that the teacher “felt she didn’t now and next from what she saw”. What in the first day that she had her? She is getting it reinstated and we will discuss the other points in October as she needs to see how things will pan out with the split day with nurture. Also the new IEP in October will state what her nurture targets are and behavioural interventions.
Again she talks the good talk… we shall see.
I have taken the view that actions speak louder than words, and they have given lots of words, but little action so far!
Dinky was actually not too bad after school today. She is very excited because she has been invited to a party! She still span for a bit as she normally does, and was a little on edge, screaming at me for the smallest thing. So I gave her full control of the dinner choice and arrangements, she had control of the TV, and she could choose which treat she was going to feed the guinea pigs.
This kept her calm. However, I gave her the melatonin (sleep hormone) at 6pm, and she came down at 8.40pm having not gone to sleep yet.
So another day in the fight for support… I have asked for a copy of the completed boxall profile and some guidance so that I can take it away in order to understand it better. Dinky starts Monday afternoon.
Until the next time!