School… Always, school

Yesterday after school Dinky was all over the place. One minute she was fine the next she was screaming at me or crying, she threw a chair at me for asking her to choose a film to watch. She didn’t know what to do with herself. I sat next to her on the sofa and had a hug. I asked her what she was so upset about. She said she didn’t know. I asked her if she had a good day at school. Now, normally all I get out of Dinky is “can’t quite remember” which is a stock phrase for her. So when she said “bad”, I asked her what happened. It took a while but what I got out of her was that she got 3 behaviour slips. 2 for (and I couldn’t quite believe the wording) ‘wasting learning’ and the other for an argument with another child.

Wasting learning? Are they seriously trying to say that they think any 5 year old is conscientious enough to think “oh, I better not waste my learning”! Especially dinky, who finds it a challenge to find ways of avoiding learning that can not be seen as avoidance! So a child, whom, I’ve already told them on numerous occasions has high anxiety around demands, especially demands which include writing, is being made more anxious by being punished with behaviour slips for something that their anxiety provoked?

I don’t know why I sent her in there this morning! They show a complete lack of understanding towards Dinky and they have already been proved wrong about my parenting! Even their own Boxall profile showed that she hasn’t been abused or neglected in any way and my parenting is not to blame. It is a shame they waited until the TAC to say that!
However they still treat Dinky like she is just a naughty and wilful child. Which she is not. If anyone actually spent time with her when her anxiety is low, they would see the cheeky, adorable cuteness that is Dinky. Which some people get glimpses of, but due to school and an un diagnosed condition these glimpses can be few and far between.

It is a difficult position to be in as a parent, I am pretty sure that the teacher thinks I am a complete pain in the backside. I probably am to her, but that is because she has her own agenda. If I was to sum up the school’s attitude at the TAC it would be that they were not there to be the team around dinky, they were there because they had to be and only had their own agenda. Dinky needs now and next, the class teacher should be thinking ‘how can I make sure this happens to lessen her anxiety’ rather than what she did say which was “it is too time consuming” .

When I went over the notes for the TAC I realised the school had missed all the deadlines set out in the TAC for their actions to be completed. Well, the ones that they had to implement. Dinky goes through the office, because I take her that way, and her ear defenders are in her bag and dinky gets them if she needs to.
So I was on the phone to IPSEA this morning who gave me some advice on statements and special schools, also mentioned her getting signed off school by the GP.
I then spoke to integrated services lady, who, is utterly useless, but at least she wrote an email to the school asking why none of the things they had to implement had been implemented.
As usual there is some miscommunication, but the points were raised. Let us see how that pans out. The school have about 4 receptionists, I’m sure one of them would have picked up the email and forwarded it to the Head.

I went to my meeting which are becoming offload sessions about Dinky and the school. She was lovely.

It has been a busy day and now I am off to get dinky from school, I brought cake mix and marshmallows, so we are cupcake making after school today (if Dinky would like to)!

Until tomorrow, which no doubt will have more school related issues, and pictures of our delicious cupcakes as I’m sure Even if dinky won’t help make them, she will decorate them!

3 thoughts on “School… Always, school

  1. I hate to say this but maybe it’s time to move schools. They seem to be going out of their way to make it difficult for Dinky. You do know as well that you can write to the LEA and ask for a statutory assessment for special needs to be started and they will instruct school to do it, giving them a time limit! ( which we should have done as Dillon would have a statement by now if we had!!)
    It may be worth looking at some other schools. Xx

  2. Yes, I am definitely thinking it is time to move schools.
    I have been in touch with admissions and they said that there are no spaces in any of the schools in the area for her year group. I am trying to sort the letter out, and will finish it tonight, to request a statutory assessment. The school asked if I would do it and they will back me all the way. The only way to move her is with a statement into a special school that caters for high functioning autism, luckily our nearest one says they cater for PDA.
    It is a shame Dillon hasn’t got his statement yet, but I hope he gets it soon x

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