The school have really got my back up now!

Back in June Dinky was restrained by the head of the early years department.. here is the link to the post….

I sent the letter on the 26th June.

I FINALLY got a response today! YAY…. NOoooooooooo!

She basically sent the teacher’s version of events.

At the end of last term, Dinky was hitting mum and refused to go home at the end of the day. This was in front of all the parents in the main walk way/door.

Mum looked very stressed and clearly could not manage Dinky’s behaviour. She kept looking at the staff as if she was asking for help. Mum looked like she was going to cry and was very anxious. All the other parents were looking at members of staff for an authoritative approach on the situation.

As Dinky was obstructing the door way I walked over to mum and said ‘would you like some help?’ Mum nodded and said ‘Yes please’.

I then bent down to Dinky’s level and asked her to calm down as she was crying, shouting and hitting mum. I held Dinky’s hand and walked from the door entrance to a table, so that parents could leave easily. Dinky did this with no fuss, mum followed and stood next to us.

I sat on the table and wrapped my arms around Dinky because she was hitting mum and attempted to hit me several times and also because I was worried that she would run outside. I asked mum ‘Is this ok?’ and mum nodded.

I talked to Dinky about why she was so upset. She said ‘I want to go to the park.’ Mum explained they couldn’t toady because they were going to Grandad’s. Dinky shouted ‘no’ and tried to hit mum. I said ‘please don’t hit Mummy, its not nice, mummy loves you and not want to be hit.’ Dinky said ‘Mummy doesn’t love me’, I said ‘Mummy always loves you; she just doesn’t like being hit.’

Dinky then hit and spat at me. I said ‘Please do not do that Dinky. We do not hit or spit at school. It is not nice.’ Dinky hit me on the arm again dso I held her hands in an x position with her hands placed on her hips. mum was standing in front of u the whole time. I said to mum ‘is this ok?’ and she nodded.

Dinky then said ‘Mummy always doesn’t love me.’ I said ‘ Mummy does love you lots. She just does not like your behaviour at the moment because you are hurting her and it makes her sad.’

Dinky ‘Mummy’s not sad’

teacher ‘yes she is look at mummys face’ (I winked at mum to make a sad face-which mum did)

Dinky ‘look mummy is crying’

I did then ask mum to pretend to cry and walk into the cloakroom area to prove a point to dinky- that mum was upset with her behaviour. I asked mum if this was ok. Mum said yes and stood just around the corner in the cloakroom for less than 1 minute.

I said to Dinky ‘See Mummy is upset Dinky because she does not like being hurt.’ I said ‘Mummy loves you lots and will always love you.’

I asked Dinky to say sorry to mum for hitting so mum came back to join us. Dinky apologised to mum with some support from me and then also said sorry to me. Dinky still protested that she wanted to go to the park and became a little upset when mum said ‘no we are going to see Grandad.’ I then praised this and talked to Dinky about Grandad and that maybe mum and dinky could go to the park another day. I checked with mum if this was ok and she nodded. Mum thanked me and she and Dinky left happy.

then at the bottom

It is my view that it was entirely reasonable that teacher should have acted this way. She believed he was acting in the best interests of both dinky and her mum. It was not recorded in the restraint book.


What a load of rubbish!

There were hardly any parents, if there were they certainly wouldn’t have gone to this particular teacher because she is a grade A muppet! I would Never have asked for help from any of the staff, I am quite capable of managing a situation like this, and she lied through her back teeth about most of it.

She makes herself sound like a good Samaritan.

I am so angry that this is now supposedly the end of the matter… Hmmm…. I don’t think so!

I have written to the integrated services lady and the other higher up about it. I am so sick of the school covering their own backsides. If I was so impressed with her behaviour why would I have come back and drafted the letter in the post linked above, and I wouldn’t have phoned the integrated services lady either that evening or the next day!


So this is another thing I will have to sort next week!

It is the paediatrician on Monday, I am slightly worried but hopefully we will move forward in the process…  


8 thoughts on “The school have really got my back up now!

  1. Hi! Just read your post. Have looked back at the previous post to remind myself of what you said. In that previous one you asked the Head for an account of the restraint that had happened earlier in the day not the one at the end of the day, which is what she has seemingly given the account about. Did she mentioned that earlier one in her letter? If not , she still hasn’t given you the info you requested. I think you may need to pursue this again, probably with the chair of governors and possibly with the LEA.
    I do hope your paed appointment goes well on Monday. Good luck. Xxx Tracey

    • Hi,
      I did streamline that letter from the post and ask for the matter to be investigated., but as you say I am sure I said that I would also like an account of the restraint for earlier in the day as well, and it is true, that hasn’t been done either.

      Thank you x

  2. So Mary Poppins isn’t fictional? She’s alive and well in dinky’s school and then goes home to lovingly tend to her unicorns! What a crock…and three months to conjure up?! 😦

    • Oh Colleen! Where would I be without you to make me giggle!
      It seems that Mary Poppins resides just outside of London! (her unicorns must be in the forest near the school! lol)

      I think this is the last straw for me… Monday they are not going to like me! (well, they don’t like me anyway, not that I care lol)


  3. OH MY GOD, I have so been there. My son is currently excluded as a health and safety risk for EXACTLY the same behaviours Dinky exhibits and school did EXACTLY the same things and gave EXACTLY the same impression that I couldn’t cope with the behaviours that THEIR incompetence was causing! Trust in yourself because it’s very easy to let them make you doubt yourself when the only ones doing it wrong are them xxx

    • Sometimes knowing you are not alone is a blessing and a curse. Blessing as I don’t feel alone, curse because it is not a nice place to be.

      They have excluded him? That’s awful! Xx

      • Yes, he was temporarily excluded in March which they illegally kept extending until it reached the 45 day limit then they turned it into a permanent exclusion. Derbyshire County LEA have NO special schools that can meet his needs and of the three independent that can one is full, one won’t take him and the third has lost his statement! I’ve sent another copy of his statement and I’m hoping to hear something back soon!

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