This morning I took Dinky to school, then went to speak to the head about the letter I received on Saturday in the post.
She was full of it as usual. She said I can take it up with the governors, which I already am. She said “I don’t want the relationship between us do break down no matter how angry you get with me or the school”, I said “well, it would help if you did what you were supposed to WHEN you were supposed to do it.” I did also hint that her logic wasn’t all there seeing as she agreed with the teachers version of events which stated I left happy and agreed with everything she did, if I was/ did ….Why on earth would I write to her, or call the integrated services lady?
She said Dinky seemed more settled and more chatty lately, and what she doesn’t know about are guinea pigs isn’t worth knowing. My reply… “So that is why she has been more difficult at home… Great!” However she isn’t completely settled, SLT (senior leadership team) have had to remove her three times in the the last week for tipping and throwing chairs.”
She asked that I let her know how the paediatrician appointment went.
So I went off to the shop and went back to get dinky. We went to the hospital and Dinky was anxious. She HAD to look down both sides of the ramps up to the outpatients entrance every 2 metres. She remembered there was a kitchen and went into chef mode.
I have started to pay more attention to her role play in these situations. There are always questions about imagination and symbolic play. So a very, very recent example is always good to have.
Dinky asked for my order. I placed my order of fish and chips. Dinky told me she didn’t have it all she had was the yellow thing. So I ordered that. She asked for my plate colour preference, when I said a colour that wasn’t there she gave me my options. For desert I had the yellow thing. To be fair I didn’t know what it was supposed to be either. She hid in purpose build white space for a while, she went back to being a chef, and ‘cooked’ for the reception staff. (We got there a little early due to her 1:1 being a little quick to bring her out). She was playing with their other toys.
Eventually we were called in. The doc said “come with me”, so Dinky refused. She went to hide. It took some doing but we got her in there with the idea that he had toys she could play with. She was not impressed with toys he had! She didn’t lose it just then, but she was not happy. He asked her a few questions and she ignored him. Eventually she realised he wasn’t going to stop and he asked her a series of questions testing her intelligence, holding up 5 fingers asking how many and then adding the other 5 and asking how many, getting her to count backwards from 10. He asked what the table was made out of and what is more expensive- a bike or a toy, a watch or an ice cream, she liked this challenge, so answered as quickly as possible and got them all right.
Then she got sick of the questions when he asked about friends, and school and her teachers, so went back to the box of toys. The doc asked me about my concerns. I mentioned PDA, it is not as if they don’t know that is what I believe the root of her difficulties is. He said that research on the internet is not always the best idea. I said that when you don’t know what is happening with your child you go looking for answers. He asked about the specific concerns. I told him about her avoidance, he asked what she avoids. So I went through the list of everyday things like getting dressed, getting her shoes on, brushing her teeth ect…
He asked about friends, taking things literally, empathy, repetitive behaviours, obsessions, sensory issues. I went through trying to remember to tell him everything.
This was a difficult excersise. Dinky was interrupting, when that wasn’t working she legged it out of the door. At one point I couldn’t get her back in for a while. Then we got back in, she was throwing things and hiding under the tables. She started attacking me. She jumped up on the bed. It was interesting!
The doc was writing it all down. Then once she had calmed down she was fine. So he wrote down that her mode changes very quickly, and that she had no awareness of danger. He asked about her danger awareness at home and her ability to change her routine. He was then phoned by the reception staff as we had gone over the half hour. He told them he would be done when he was done. He asked about speech and milestones.
Once we got through the questions the best we could, he told me his feelings about the situation.
He said that she seemed to meet all the checks for social communication difficulties, and has some sensory issues.
He said she showed some ADHD sign, but said it is entirely possible that her lack of social skills and knowledge on social rules could be mistaken for ADHD symptoms.
He wants to go through development checks on gross motor skills. Fine motor skills, personal and social skills, ect etc. He wants to find her strengths and weaknesses so we can meet her needs.
He wants to talk to school, refer to OT, and get a specialist speech and language report.
We discussed how long it will be until the next appointment. Dinky was back to being under the table. He said it is normally 3 months but he will see if he can do it for 2 months.
Then dinky wouldn’t leave.
Once I got her out of the doctors room she went into full meltdown. She said she was hungry but she wouldn’t leave. I had to restrain her as she was throwing the toys everywhere and had tipped over the kitchen. The reception staff were staring at us. So I tried to get her round the corner. She wasn’t having any of it. Once she was calming down the doctor came out and asked who was screaming, I told him and he looked all apologetic.
Finally we got out of there and I took her to school just in time for lunch. The head saw me and asked how it went. So I told her, what he said about the social communication difficulties. I found it hard not to lose my temper when she nodded as if to say ‘yes, just what I thought’. She said she would speak to the senco as it now seems Dinky has social communication difficulties, so they know what they are ‘dealing with’. Like I didn’t tell them before she started, when she first started, and in EVERY meeting since!
I took dinky to the sensory room after school and she was still a bit off. She kicked off in the pharmacy when I went to pick up her melatonin, and then refused to move due to her burning feet.
At home she just watched tv, she didn’t last long in her own bed, so right now is fast asleep in my bed.