It’s been one of those days…
This morning it took a long time to get dinky ready for school, she was whining at the littlest demands, so I had to dress her this morning. She walked to the school ok, and then the 1:1 was late. This made things worse. She was getting jumpy and tried to jump over the counter again today. Then she tried to run out. Then the 1:1 turned up and I told her about the wetting incident as I didn’t have the contact book yesterday as the deputy was going to make sure it was filled in properly regarding the exclusion on Monday.
So dinky ran out before I could catch her. Then I had to stop it going any further. I managed to calm her after she was hitting and spitting at me. just enough to go back into school.
When I got back from the coffee morning I went to the school and asked if the head was around. I was still extremely angry about the meeting yesterday. How dare the deputy say that I was not helping by asking if my daughter was formally excluded and telling them I was not going to collect her otherwise as it was illegal! So what… Am I supposed to be happy to let them act illegally AGAIN? I think not! I am not the one who burnt bridges. The broken promises, ultimatums, ignoring PDA and going for attachment, not following IEP, lying to my face, in a TAC, in letters, and slowly destroying dinky being the worst of it!
As it happens the muppet is away until tomorrow. I did kind of lose my cool slightly in the office because she asked what it was regarding, and I was pretty annoyed after she went running to the deputy saying that I was rude. So I said that I had a meeting with SENCO and deputy and was blamed for the state of the home/school relationship, which I wasn’t impressed with at all.. If wanting the best for my child is a crime.. I am guilty! She said she would get the head to call with an appointment.
So I went to have lunch, and then went to pick dinky up. I was cornered by the deputy and the ginger deputy/some form of senior leadership role… The deputy has no idea about personal space! Was the most uncomfortable 5 minutes! She said that dinky had some issues today. She had to pull dinky off the gate as she was trying to climb over to come home.
(Uhha yes, she wanted to come home and was doing the exact same thing she did to get excluded on Monday. I don’t know how many times I have to tell them something before they listen… But then again I told them taking her out of class in the afternoon, when she just didn’t want to go in, was not a good idea as she will use that. Now she spends most afternoons out of class. Saying that I told them she had PDA in April and now we have a provisional diagnosis and the school STILL won’t listen!)
But they got her in nurture to calm down, then she went back into class. She said that she understands I don’t want her in nurture from what SENCO said, but obviously that is a preferable choice to sending her home again. I said that the reason I didn’t want her in nurture is because nurture is predominantly for children with attachment and EBD/SEBD, this is not Dinky. The boxall profile proved that, and she agreed, but said again that this was preferable to sending her home. Which yes it is. (Actually this wouldn’t be as bad if they just used PDA strategies!). She said there was another incident involving a pair of scissors which had to be dealt with by SLT (senior leadership team). Fine. She said she understood that I wanted to see the head, and that she had spoken to her and arranged for me to see her at 9am on Friday. Fair enough. She said that she understands that I want the best for dinky and the school needs funding in order to meet her needs, which is why it is good that we are going for a diagnosis and a statutory assessment. She said that the SENCO is going to phone tomorrow and ask for the outcome of the statutory assessment application.
And she left it at that.
I went to get dinky. She was with the teacher who was writing in the book!
This is what it said
Sitting on lunch trolley hanging on pegs- ran onto playground picked a leaf for deputy.
Maths-remained under chair most of lesson + play station
Break- climbing over fence/gate staff kept her safe
Pm-out of class-tent
Story time – left class without asking- tent.
She just isn’t coping. Normally this means her behaviour at home improves. However, today not so much!
She held the guinea pig, fine, then it was time to eat and get ready for swimming… Which is where things got difficult. She still wanted to go to swimming. They changed swimming teacher, which didn’t help, and then about 15 minutes in, she was screaming (don’t touch me). I knew I had to get down there.
Too late. By the time I had gotten out of the spectator area she was in meltdown.
She kicked at the teacher, kicked another that tried to help, it was mayhem. Finally I got her by her wetsuit (what she chose to swim in), as holding her arm she was saying I was hurting her. She was screaming and hitting. Teachers kept coming over to see if I was ok, but I had to tell them to leave us to it, as they were trying to engage Kaitlyn which led to more screaming. We were getting some awful looks and one of the instructors said she has special needs, she has just had too much. And they stopped watching.
It took a while, but eventually she calmed enough to go home.
We tried to get a cab, but the driver was an idiot. Dinky did really well getting the bus home, and she apologised for hurting me, then hit herself and said “stupid brain”. She has been doing this a lot over the last few months. It is so hard to watch.
She went to bed ok…. And I cracked open a bottle of baileys and poured myself a glass.. Already it has been a long week and it’s only Wednesday and I still have a meeting with the muppet on Friday… Should be…well, interesting in a… ‘How did I not get arrested for assault’ kind of way.
It is going to be tough, but we will get there!
Thank you everyone for your support… Means a lot x