Dinky and me + Christmas

The run up to Christmas has been very up an down.

Dinky has been in a state of flash meltdowns. It has been very difficult to know what may trigger them.
I must admit I have been surprised that dinky hasn’t tried to open any of the presents. She had been really struggling with not knowing what the plan was and the change in routine. So I did her a picture story with now and next to go along. We practiced moving them along while going through the story. She seemed to have been a bit better over the last couple of days. Still a few flash meltdowns, but over all much better.

I have been trying to get Christmas organised to keep everyone happy. Which is not easy with Dinky, and not knowing what to do for best. I have read a few things, and if I’m completely honest, I don’t remember any ‘good’ Christmas’ so the whole thing was just winging it, trying to keep everyone happy. I’m sure the ‘perfect’ Christmas only happens if you have a perfect family, which doesn’t exist. However, as Dinky’s mum it’s my job to try to get it right for her.
It all came to a head yesterday with my dad. It doesn’t help that I haven’t been sleeping very well with the stress of keeping dinky happy and calm, and her coming into my bed in the early hours, while trying to organise my first proper family Christmas.
I desperately needed some time to organise the house and have a bit of a rest from Dinky’s stressing. My dad phoned at 12.30 to tell me he had the day off work because of the storm. I asked if he was coming over, he said he had just got up and didn’t really want to go out as he was coming today.
Well, needless to say I got a little bit annoyed. He knows I’ve had very little sleep and dinky was sent home early twice last week, so it has been a bit stressful. But no he only managed 12 hours unbroken sleep and didn’t want to leave the house 2 days in a row so I could have a little bit of a break and get organised for the Christmas I had to organise by myself without any input from him other than ‘what ever you think’. Dinky’s grandma hasn’t bothered to contact her… Thank fully she hasn’t asked for her, but it annoys the hell out of me, that someone could not bother with their grandchild. As if it wasn’t bad enough that Dinky has my mother as a biological grandmother, whose stance is ‘I already have 4 other grandchildren’!
It was the same the other week when he said he would help when dinky was excluded for 2.5 days, he slept in until 1pm so couldn’t come over as he had to do some washing!
I wouldn’t mind so much if he didn’t keep saying “I want to help with Dinky, and make things easy for you” it would be better if he didn’t say anything. But he insists that he is sorry and wants to help, and then does it again!

So, Today is Christmas Day.

It all started well, she hadn’t touched the presents when she woke me and we waited for my dad to come.
Dad came and we opened the presents. Dinky was really good, she didn’t like the books, but everything else was on her list so she was one happy girl!
We watched the croods, dinky got bored and played with her toys, then we watched monsters university, and dinky was getting rather aggressive in her game. Dad was constantly saying things that wound her up. Like asking to take her toys upstairs, telling her to put things away, telling her she couldn’t have things that were of no consequence. Basically he was a PDA child’s worst nightmare this morning! Which put her a little on edge throughout the morning and then became very controlling of my dad, who tried to take control back very unsuccessfully, and then she was calling the shots with her Spider-Man playset. Thankfully it wasn’t me as I had to prep the dinner, and I couldn’t get my dad to do it as he can’t cook? Dinky had said she wanted to try the dinner, so I wanted to make sure she would eat most of it, but I had a microwave pizza on standby.
It wasn’t long before my dad set her off and she was shouting and he was shouting. Dinky was doing all the little things she knew she wasn’t supposed to, and being rather avoidant.
Dinner was spent with me trying to get dinky to use utensils, after the third try, I gave up but dad carried on trying. Dinky got the hump in the end and gave up eating dinner.
We watched smurfs 2 and dinky was spinning and messing about.
At bedtime she was very stressed and in avoidance mode. It was a fight to get her dressed, but in all honesty it was actually a relief when she went to bed.

Sorry this is a bit of a rant.

I’m not a fan of Christmas, it is billed as a time to get all the family together and about closeness. It is very hard to have closeness when your dad is acting like a class A muppet, your daughter has PDA, and the rest of your family consists of drug taking abusive morons.

so it’s over for another year… We can try again next year!

I hope you all had a good Christmas…. If not, it’s over and we live to fight another day!

I’m going to bed. I will probably be up again in 3/4 hours with dinky crawling under my duvet… I had better make the most of it!


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