So after two phone calls in two days Thursday wasn’t too bad for Dinky. I am sure there were a few issues during the day, but she came home with only minor issues regarding which way we went and demanding what we watched at home and what was for dinner.
Thursday night Dinky refused to take her ‘vitamins’ which is code for her melatonin, and was up several times during the night despite her getting to sleep at 11.30pm.
Friday morning was not so great. Dinky said her legs had ‘runned out of energy’ so we were going to catch the bus to school. The bus was late which meant Dinky was very anxious. When it did finally arrive it was a double decker. Now, I know what Dinky is like and I will never get her down in this mood, so I said (which wasn’t the best move I know, but I also had very little sleep- over the last…I have lost count!!!) “if you go upstairs, nothing nice after school”. What does Dinky do… Straight up the stairs! I called her down and she kicked me ad screamed because she realised what had just happened. She was upset and told me not to go near her. Which wasn’t easy. When we got off the bus she still wasn’t happy. When we got into the school office dinky was refusing to go into the school. (There are double doors which go into the school itself). The head of nurture and the 1:1 didn’t know what to do. Dinky was saying she wanted to come home.
After 10 minutes the head of nurture said “maybe you should take her home”
I was fuming. I said “when she was excluded last term on the 11th of November I said that if the school sent her home she would just do the same thing to be sent home again. No one listened, because I am only her mother, and she was excluded again on the 28th after a near exclusion that got her full time in nurture, then again on the 4 th of December, another near exclusion on the 11th of December and then in the final week 2 informal exclusions on the 17th and the 20th December. If you let her come home she will do this more and more, and I will never get her into school.”
She called over Muppet Jr. Muppet jr said that if she wasn’t willing to come in she wouldn’t be willing to learn and that would be bad. So I explained again.
Head of nurture said that they didn’t want to set her up to fail.
Muppet jr said it might be a case of they have to decide what is best for the interests of the other children in nurture.
I wasn’t going to get anywhere, so I told dinky that she would spend most of the school day in her room. There would be no tv during school hours and we would do work.
Dinky said “I don’t want to go home, I don’t want to go to school”. Which left us in quite a predicament. Eventually after as many calming and de escalation things I tried Dinky was calm. She didn’t like being told she wasn’t allowed into school and work was brought out,so she decided she wanted to go into school, and tried to get into school. Eventually muppet jr said she would try dinky as now dinky wanted to be in school. She had me wait in the office area for an hour before coming out to say I could go home. She said to keep my mobile on and not go to far. Oh how nice of her!!!!
I didn’t get a call. I went to pick dinky up and she had no shoes on. She had obviously just finished a meltdown as the nurture room had been emptied of students early. It was Dinky and 4 members of staff. I have no idea what had gone on, and when a teacher mentioned shoes she went under the table. She asked dinky to put them on again and dinky threw them across the room. Then they all carried on with their paperwork completely ignoring the situation. There was no intelligible words coming out of Dinky and she just ran off. As soon as I got near her she ran again. She went into her classroom and was hiding in the role play area. Her teacher tried to get her out. I had nothing left to try. She absolutely hates the idea of me leaving her, so I tried to turn it around, saying I was going and she was choosing not to come. She then said she wasn’t coming home. She couldn’t accept the demand of getting her coat and shoes on, nor the expectation that she come home at that point . The teacher was getting annoyed which made me angry and I just couldn’t take anymore. I walked away and Dinky did follow. I ended up shouting at her to get her shoes and coat on. I think my shouting startled her and she just did as I asked! I was completely shocked. She was crying throughout, but her shoes and coat were on. She was still refusing to come home. I had the nurture teachers, muppet jr, and other teachers watching my every move. I was even less impressed. Dinky was an absolute mess.
Once we had finally gone round to the office I told them that I was sick of picking Dinky up in this state.
I had actually decided not to allow dinky back to that school. I am sick of picking her up when she is so anxious she can’t even bear the demand of coming home. 3 days out of 5 this week I have picked her up in that state.
After thinking about it and getting some advice, I can’t just pull her out at the moment. The ed psych is coming on the 21st and dinky needs to be in school so they can see how badly she is coping in that environment. Let the school tell her that Dinky can’t cope in the classroom either, which is why they have shoved her in the inappropriate provision of nurture.
I don’t want to send her back but I have to.
Monday is Dinky’s assessment at the child development centre. I don’t even know what to expect.