To the two ‘elderly’ passengers on the bus to the next town

bus

 

To the two ‘elderly’ passengers on the bus to the next town,

 

You may remember me, I was the person who got on the bus with my 5 year old dressed as the hulk and a pink coat holding her simba teddy. With us were 2 other female adults, and 3 other children, an 8 year old, a 6 year old and a 2 year old.

As we got on, some other people moved to the front of the bus, in a desperate bid to escape the children who had all run ahead to secure the back seats on the bus. While I felt that was a little harsh, it was understandable. You should have followed suit.

The 4 children and 1 of the adults filled the back seats, I sat in front of my daughter and the final adult sat in front of me. The children were happy, possibly a tad loud, but they were behaving. They were excitable and happy, which is great. Children should be happy.

When you felt the need to talk badly about a child that you do not know and comment on the parenting of a mother you do not know, it makes you ignorant.

To do it loud enough so that one of the parents can not concentrate on their own conversation is nothing short of cowardice.

Then to project those feelings loudly enough for the rest of the bus to hear you was just rudeness.

I was brought up better than to have challenged you before this point. I was brought up to respect my elders. My nan wasn’t the best nan in the world, but this was one of the things that she instilled in me. It wasn’t until you provoked my lioness within by attacking my baby, that I confronted you. It was then you managed to show how ignorant, and rude you were, while showing your level of pure cowardice.

You shouted “DO THOSE KIDS NEVER SHUT UP???”

I said “I’m sorry, did you have something to say?”

Your reply was “I was not talking to you!”

If you haven’t got the guts to discuss your disapproval then, do not voice it so loudly.

My first few points would have been

1) they weren’t actually misbehaving.

2) This is the 21st century, children are allowed to be seen AND heard.

3) Technically you are a hypocrite, as much as the children were disturbing you, you were worse by being ignorant and rude in your disruption of my conversation with the other parent, you are an adult, YOU should know better!

These are the additional facts you would have been given had you not been to coward to enter the conversation you were so itching to start:

1) The 2 children you deemed loud, have autism spectrum conditions/disorders (and no autism is not an excuse for bad behaviour, it is a neurological condition which affects the children’s ability to understand and cope in social situations).

2) The children were a little loud, they do not notice their noise level, the bus we were on had a rather loud engine, add that to the fact that the children were excited to see each other and were on their way to a ‘party’ were very valid reasons for their volume.

3) This was actually a proud moment for both mothers as the children rarely allow other children to play with them in co operative play.  They were actually trying to take on board each others ideas and did not get too frustrated.

You see, not everything is always as it seems. Your attitude is one that I have to deal with EVERYDAY. It is people like yourself that make me conscious of taking my daughter out for a meal, or to the local shopping centre. It shouldn’t do, but I do not feel like trying to explain my daughter’s sensory need to spin, or the difficulty she has waiting or transitioning from one thing to another, to everyone who may make the same insensitive, ignorant and rude comments that you have today. I shouldn’t have to explain that my child has additional needs. I used to put a badge on her bag explaining she is not naughty, she has special needs, but I felt that I shouldn’t HAVE to do this. Why cant my child be herself?

The thing is My daughter and the 6 year old boy spend their entire lives trying to adjust and fit into our neuro typical world, they accept our differences to them and they do not hold it against us. When I confuse my daughter with double meanings that she takes literally, or take her in to an area which induces sensory overload, she doesn’t shout about it, she finds a way to make sense of it, she adjusts. Why can adults not adjust to her way of life?

I admire my daughter, I admire the 6 year old boy. They are amazing children. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I do realise that you may feel that I am a coward for NOT saying this after you so rudely shouted that you were not talking to me when you were making judgements about my autistic daughter and her friend. However, you had closed the conversation and I would have been rude to re open it, I was angry- and may have lost my temper, and finally, I was with my child and while I was angry, I was still in awe of the play she was engaging in with her friend. and was listening to them rather than arguing with you.

 

From one, very annoyed parent of a child with additional needs!

 

 

I really wish I could send this, and I am sure those who read this, will have had many similar experiences with the ignorant people of this world.

This is why awareness is all so important!

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