Equality and fairness

I have had a rather ‘interesting’ conversation with other people whose children are entitled to and receive Disability Living Allowance.

A question was asked, and I answered it and put on the end that this was my own personal opinion.
I was then attacked by one person who kept saying I was entitled to my opinion and then kept making assumptions and kept going.

Basically, I think that 10 ride access passes for one of the UK’s top theme parks is not quite enough. I didn’t say that it should be unlimited, and I didn’t say that I didn’t understand how it looks to those people who had to queue for an hour or so, yet a few times this was brought up. Like I would stick with one ride and lots of people would be doing the same thing.

They assumed I would abuse it.

I understand and agree with her opinion, she said that 10 was enough for them as their child was happy to queue for a short while. Which is great, for HER child.

The way I see it, fairness is personal opinion governed by personal circumstances.

There is some suggestion in the world of special needs that our children should be treated equally to those without special needs. Sure… Hand back your statement of SEN, your reasonable adjustments, DLA, direct payments, and any other concessions and be on your merry way.

Oh, that isn’t what you meant?

Equal and fair do not cut it for our children.

Where is the fairness with Dinky’s situation?
Pushed out of a second mainstream school, despite the national inclusion policy. Being made to feel I should be lucky Dinky is able to attend a unit which is unsuitable for her needs and hasn’t been permanently excluded due to her disability. Her not being able to go to swimming lessons because it is overwhelming. The probability that she wouldn’t cope in a typical after school club. Me losing my job because the childminder couldn’t have her anymore.
Is it fair? Hell no.

Is it fair that professionals think my family is ‘troubled’ or ‘needs fixing’ purely because of their own astounding ignorance? No!

So why can’t I ask that the days out we can manage (just about) we are given some preferential treatment? That we slightly push the boundaries of ‘fair’ to level out all the activities that she misses out on that other people take for granted. Dinky would not be able to cope in a football team, she couldn’t cope in swimming, she couldn’t cope bowling … The list goes on.

I don’t think it is lucky that we are given 10 in the first place. They would be done for discrimination if they didn’t, as their park would be accessible to disabled children who can not queue.

All I said was that 10 wasn’t quite enough. She didn’t ask me what I thought would make it fair for us. I would have said 12-15. To make it a day out to remember. So not extensively more, but enough not to panic you are going to run out too quickly. There may be times some people don’t use them all… Which is great. Some will, there may even be some that say it isn’t enough for their child. Which is based on their circumstances, which is fine.

I didn’t say she was wrong, it’s great that she feels 10 is enough for her family. I also said it is only mildly annoying, that it didn’t make me upset or angry, and just defended my position, but was made to feel wrong for doing so.

I think the main thing people are trying to say when they mention equality and fairness, is that they do not want people to think negatively of them because they have/ or their child has a disability, or be impacted negatively because of the disability, but they do need the concessions to make it easier, and to give them a better chance of enjoying certain things. They just don’t want to be seen as greedy by the ignorant masses.

If I could stop Dinky’s struggles by giving up her concessions, do they not think I would do so in a heart beat?

Today is one of many PDA awareness days lined up throughout the year. I think the aim is every three months.

Thank you all for reading my blog and for being aware of PDA. X


One thought on “Equality and fairness

  1. I don’t know why that certain theme park changed the way they did things. The old way was fine and worked well. Now you have to be careful not to loose those silly little perforated tokens! And no, sometimes 10 is not enough. Other times its just right. Depends on the day and how busy the whole park is.
    I too would willingly hand back anything I had if Dillon could participate in ‘normal’ life, like going to school and playing with friends but then I suppose he wouldn’t be Dillon anymore. And when it all boils down to it, we live our kids for who they are regardless of all the trouble they cause us!! 🙂

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