Bittersweet birthday party


Dinky will be 6 tomorrow and in celebration she wanted a party. She has had a party every year.
Last year was not too bad. Dinky invited 20 kids, 6 came and I had to ask one of the parents to bring a younger sibling so the party could go ahead.

This year Dinky invited 20 children again.
Within a week I had 2 who couldn’t make it. So I asked dinky to pick 2 more children. I heard back from 4 parents who said their children were coming. The other 16 I wasn’t sure of. Dinky’s friend with PDA was too anxious to come bless him. So it was down to 19.

Last night dinky was up at 1am singing the ‘everything is awesome’ song from the new Lego movie, which, if you have heard it, one of those super catchy but infuriatingly annoying songs!
She didn’t go back to sleep until well past 2.30am. Was back up at 5.50am and was running the length of the house. She was jumping on everything and just seemed a bundle of anxious and excitable energy.

One of the parents I know through the local autism group kindly gave us a lift to the party with all the bags, as her child was coming too, as dinky knows her from the old school and the SN group.
I had enough food for 20 children including Dinky, and some nibbles for the parents. So before the party started we got all the food in to the little boxes, sorted out all the party bags with sweets. Instead of horrible plastic bits of tat, I brought each child a small toy- either a squidgy glow stick, sand filled animal, or stretchy toy. Dinky had stuck a ‘thank you for coming to my party’ sticker on each one.

Just before the party was due to start we had 2 guests, a lad from the local autism group and part of Dinky’s SN group, and his step brother, who I said was welcome to stay, as we had the lad with PDA drop out for definite this morning bless him.
Then we had another guest from the SN group, and another, then someone from the school.

That was it. Out of all the children Dinky invited, 5 came. Although it was lovely of the SN group leader to come for most of Dinky’s party!
There were more adults than children.
This was really horrible for me as a parent. I do not know what made it so bad. The fact that these children didn’t come? Or that their parents were rude not to let me know that their children wouldn’t be coming? Or that everyone keeps saying she makes friends, yet none turn up for a party? Or that I had spent over ¬£150 on a party for 6 children and could possibly have done something much more exciting with that money?
I don’t know, but it felt horrible. What was worse… Dinky didn’t ask where anyone else was. She did say that she wanted to give the lad who dropped out this morning and the lad whose family had a holiday booked a party bag. Which was really sweet, but she didn’t ask about any other child.

It felt empty in the SN clubhouse. We had the use of 4 rooms and a massive garden. Most of the time the children were spit up as all but 2 of the kids were autistic. Dinky did play with her friend from school for a bit, then the lad she talks about sometimes from her SN group.

The kids all seemed to be having fun, then all of a sudden Dinky wanted to have some of her birthday cake. We were only mid way through the party and she went into meltdown. She was throwing stuff, punching me and my dad, screaming and was so upset. I knew from how she was in the morning that very little would need to happen in order for her to go off.
The SN group leader was shocked as she had never seen dinky quite like that before. To give my Dad his dues, he really did well with her, and between us we calmed her down. Then she still wanted the cake, so we did the cake. She didn’t want anyone to sing.
Again a tradition falls at the feet of autism.

I think I’m quite good now at rolling with the tide with Dinky now. None of the other kids battered an eyelid about the cake.

They had their snack boxes and they raided the unopened ones for swaps and extras. Most of the adults got a snack box too.

Then when I cut the cake, dinky didn’t actually want it! If it wasn’t her party I may have screamed… Not at her, but in general! As it was the cake probably wasn’t the issue, she was just extremely anxious and had reached boiling point.

It was at this point the SN group leader said that apart from the kid from school, the girl we came with hadn’t been to a party in over a year, and two of the three lads didn’t get invited to many parties, not wanted to attend, so it was lovely to see them at Dinky’s.

I felt much better. Those three kids had really made such a massive step by coming today ūüôā I am so very proud of them, and of Dinky.

The kids continued to have a good time, and everything went smoothly and the party ended without incident.

We got a lift home and that was the end of that.

Tomorrow is Dinky’s birthday! We are heading to the cinema to see tinkerbell and the pirates (I know pretty girly for dinky!), followed by a trip back to the SN clubhouse, although I’m not entirely sure she will be up for it.

Equality and fairness

I have had a rather ‘interesting’ conversation with other people whose children are entitled to and receive Disability Living Allowance.

A question was asked, and I answered it and put on the end that this was my own personal opinion.
I was then attacked by one person who kept saying I was entitled to my opinion and then kept making assumptions and kept going.

Basically, I think that 10 ride access passes for one of the UK’s top theme parks is not quite enough. I didn’t say that it should be unlimited, and I didn’t say that I didn’t understand how it looks to those people who had to queue for an hour or so, yet a few times this was brought up. Like I would stick with one ride and lots of people would be doing the same thing.

They assumed I would abuse it.

I understand and agree with her opinion, she said that 10 was enough for them as their child was happy to queue for a short while. Which is great, for HER child.

The way I see it, fairness is personal opinion governed by personal circumstances.

There is some suggestion in the world of special needs that our children should be treated equally to those without special needs. Sure… Hand back your statement of SEN, your reasonable adjustments, DLA, direct payments, and any other concessions and be on your merry way.

Oh, that isn’t what you meant?

Equal and fair do not cut it for our children.

Where is the fairness with Dinky’s situation?
Pushed out of a second mainstream school, despite the national inclusion policy. Being made to feel I should be lucky Dinky is able to attend a unit which is unsuitable for her needs and hasn’t been permanently excluded due to her disability. Her not being able to go to swimming lessons because it is overwhelming. The probability that she wouldn’t cope in a typical after school club. Me losing my job because the childminder couldn’t have her anymore.
Is it fair? Hell no.

Is it fair that professionals think my family is ‘troubled’ or ‘needs fixing’ purely because of their own astounding ignorance? No!

So why can’t I ask that the days out we can manage (just about) we are given some preferential treatment? That we slightly push the boundaries of ‘fair’ to level out all the activities that she misses out on that other people take for granted. Dinky would not be able to cope in a football team, she couldn’t cope in swimming, she couldn’t cope bowling … The list goes on.

I don’t think it is lucky that we are given 10 in the first place. They would be done for discrimination if they didn’t, as their park would be accessible to disabled children who can not queue.

All I said was that 10 wasn’t quite enough. She didn’t ask me what I thought would make it fair for us. I would have said 12-15. To make it a day out to remember. So not extensively more, but enough not to panic you are going to run out too quickly. There may be times some people don’t use them all… Which is great. Some will, there may even be some that say it isn’t enough for their child. Which is based on their circumstances, which is fine.

I didn’t say she was wrong, it’s great that she feels 10 is enough for her family. I also said it is only mildly annoying, that it didn’t make me upset or angry, and just defended my position, but was made to feel wrong for doing so.

I think the main thing people are trying to say when they mention equality and fairness, is that they do not want people to think negatively of them because they have/ or their child has a disability, or be impacted negatively because of the disability, but they do need the concessions to make it easier, and to give them a better chance of enjoying certain things. They just don’t want to be seen as greedy by the ignorant masses.

If I could stop Dinky’s struggles by giving up her concessions, do they not think I would do so in a heart beat?

Today is one of many PDA awareness days lined up throughout the year. I think the aim is every three months.

Thank you all for reading my blog and for being aware of PDA. X

‘professionals’ really know how to twist the knife!


Yesterday I got back from school to find a letter from the school.

Confused, I read it.

It was the head teacher’s reply to the MP regarding my email to him.

Here is what The Muppet had to say! (No wonder she wasn’t at the meeting!)


Thank you for your letter regarding Dinky. I am sure you will have realised this is a complex and unusual situation.

Dinky joined our school during the last summer term from ‘X’ school. ‘X’ school is an outstanding school. The staff recognised that Dinky had special needs and were concerned about keeping her safe in school.

Since Dinky has been at our school we have done everything within our power to ensure that we provide for her needs. In the 7 months that Dinky has been at our school (she has been there 10 months!), Dinky and her mother have had support from:

  • an assessment for a statement¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† (was first brought up by the muppet)
  • Educational psychology¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† ¬†¬† (suggested by Paed and Camhs, and part of statement process)
  • Social communication team¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† ¬†(suggested by Pead and head of paeds, and part of statement process)
  • Social care¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† (I didn’t ask them to be involved!)
  • Specialist Nurture group provision¬†¬†¬†¬† (I didn’t want Dinky in there in the first place!)
  • Parent Partnership¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† (are useless)
  • ¬†SALT¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† (only after I paid for a private assessment)
  • 1:1 TA support¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†(Only started in October for 35 minutes a day, only ‘full time’ for 4 days)
  • Personalised learning and timetable¬†¬† (Only since starting in nurture group)
  • CDC/ NHS/ Paediatrician¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† (Started before she went to this school)
  • Special needs group¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†(Started before she started this school)

(Most of these are only recent, since November! or only started as soon as mid-January/early February- also missed out integrated services!)

There has almost always been a senior member of staff available to talk to mum however mum will only speak to certain members of staff and sometimes because of teaching commitments it is not possible for a specific member of staff to be available at a specific time.

(I said I wouldn’t talk to her! I was willing to talk to ANYONE else, I made that very clear! SO there wasn’t anyone available for 3 and a half days… for 15 minutes! BULL!)

It is important that all parents understand that Headteachers have a statutory duty to follow all child protection procedures as laid down by the local safeguarding board. Furthermore all headteachers have a responsibility to ensure that all children and staff are safe when they are at school. Thus if a child assaults an adult there will be consequences as outlined in the schools Behaviour Policy.

(I do understand that if they had legitimate concerns that they have to contact social care, which is fine, but to leave out PDA was WRONG! I do understand the safety of the other students, except they only account for 30% of her exclusions!)

I can understand Dinky’s mum’s frustration that things are not happening fast enough for her daughter. I can also understand her upset when Professional diagnosis and advice do not agree with hers.


  1. the only professional diagnosis is the provisional one of PDA which I agree with
  2. The only time I haven’t agreed was with the first Paed who said he didn’t know what PDA was.
  3. The only thing they can be talking about is their own ‘diagnosis’ of attachment, but they are not allowed to diagnose.
  4. THEY are the ones who have disagreed with the provisional diagnosis! THEY refused to follow advice from SN group leader. THEY wouldn’t listen to any strategies that could help!

In 15 years of leadership of schools in 2 counties, I have not known things to move so quickly. (pfft, this is slow! I have pushed for EVERYTHING, and she is ENTITLED and NEEDS most of those involved!) I am also clear that no other mainstream school in the area could offer any more for Dinky. (well she obviously doesn’t know very much! There is another mainstream school that would have acted much sooner, and have dog therapy and more SEN trained staff! I’m not saying that Dinky would cope there in a class of 30, but they can offer more!)

I hope that this information proves useful. I am copying this letter to Dinky’s Mum to ensure communication is clear.


signed The Muppet

SERIOUSLY!!!! What a MUPPET! She is making me out to be a Munchausen’s mum or¬† a pushy parent unwilling to take other views on¬†board!¬†I am going to make it my goal to get¬†her fired so she cant keep doing this to parents. She has already pushed another child with¬†ASD- possibly PDA out of the school!

Once I finally calmed down I thought I would have a look into the family initiative the Integrated services lady brought up.

This was the first thing I saw

is a County Council initiative relating to the Government’s ‘Helping troubled families turn their lives around‘ policy. It brings together local organisation to support vulnerable families.

Targeting 1,200 families with multiple, complex issues and delivering new solutions to persistent problems will lead to lasting, positive change for families and communities.



Who we are targeting and how

Who: vulnerable families…

Targeting families with problems relating to:

  • crime ‚Äď young people involved in crime and anti-social behaviour;
  • education ‚Äď children not in school;
  • worklessness – adults on out-of-work benefits;
  • other health and social issues; and
  • children vulnerable to repeating previous cycles of negativity and lost opportunity.


How: a new approach for real change…

  • A single Keyworker ‚Äď building trust and giving committed, intensive support and coaching.
  • Family plans ‚Äď working by consent for goals which the family sets itself.
  • Local services, all working together using a new coordinated approach, supporting the whole family.
  • Dynamic, persistent and respectful ‚Äď really getting involved with a family‚Äôs problems, not giving up, and building confidence and capability.


The result: huge personal and social benefits…

  • Children attending school regularly.
  • Parents in jobs or training.
  • Lower levels of crime and anti-social behaviour ‚Äď healthier and happier communities.
  • Families working better as a unit, able to look after and support each other.
  • Better life prospects and breaking cycles of negative attitudes.
  • Better use of public funds.

So, everyone gains!

Hmmmm… not so happy.

What’s expected from the family?

By working with us we would like you to agree to:

A family agreement

This is an agreement between all members of your family to work with the Programme and sets out the situation now and what you are aiming for. It gives information on what support you will be offered and how you will make the changes needed.

A family plan

Your family plan will be written and agreed with you and your family worker. We will need your permission to share information we may have about you with other organisations, who may be able to support you in achieving your goals.

To change

By taking part in the programme, you are taking the first step towards making positive changes to the lives of your family members. This is your commitment that you want positive changes for you and for your family.

The result…

The result of the work you will do with your family worker will help you to feel more positive about managing your role in the family and your local community and help all family members to build new skills and increase their confidence.

The goal is:

  • Children attending school regularly.
  • Parents in jobs or working towards employment.
  • Lower levels of crime and anti-social behaviour ‚Äď healthier and happier communities.
  • Families working better together, able to look after and support each other.
  • Better life prospects.

Sounds like a parenting programme.

The aim of the programme is to work with families who are experiencing problems with crime and anti-social behaviour, children who need support to regularly attend school, adults who are not able to work and families who are dealing with health and social issues.

The project aims to improve outcomes for children, young people and their families throughout the county where they are vulnerable to the effects of worklessness, missed educational opportunities, crime and disorder and may be facing health and other social issues.

Then there is a video.

PC PLOD: in my 28 years of policing, is that those who cause the most problems in society, those that commit crime and anti social behaviour, were brought up in families which were dysfunctional. When they grow up themselves to have families the cycle is repeated.

County council representative: county council provides social services and support for families and children, and it is entirely appropriate that we carry out our duties particularly in safeguarding those children.

PC Plod:  when a child is brought up in a stable and loving family , they generally grow to be positive members of our community. But when they are brought up in families where there is abuse or neglect, poor parenting skills, absentee fathers or multiple partners, they can have a negative impact for the rest of their lives.

county council rep: If we can give them a better start in life, if they can get to school, ready for school, ready for learning, that gives them a real tremendous chance, and often those children are in poverty. It is a very important point to get them out of poverty by getting them ready for education, ready to learn and that is what will lift them out of poverty in the future

PC Plod: This county is an affluent county,¬†however there are parts where 1 in 3 children live in poverty. The charity Barnardos says that can have a massive impact on a child’s development because their parents can not afford the basics, such as a pair of school shoes, or 3 square meals a day, or a school coat, or have friends round for tea, which has an impact on their development as they grow up.

County council rep: Over the years we have a developed an approach which is the same across the country, which is about a sticking plaster on those troubled families. (video of a distant family where the adults are smoking and a man holds a beer can, a child is in a buggy and a child just stands next to it). We go in, we get them straight, set them on their course, and move away from them. But often we haven’t solved the problems, the deep seated problems within those families.

PC Plod: Research from Montreal shows violent adolescents didn’t just become violent, that they displayed violence as young as 6 and could have been predicted that they would go that way¬†at the age of 3. That is why it is so important that they are given a stable upbringing.

County council rep: we are working with those families to manage those deep seated problems. To help families to learn to help themselves so they can actually move forward with their lives with confidence. The change in behaviours is so important. But it is particularly important for those very young children. (out comes a mum with a young child and a police officer smiling down the road). If we can give them a better start in life, if we can get them to school ready for school, ready for learning that gives them a real tremendous chance

PC Plod: At the moment agencies support families in need independently, we are not joined up, we do not co ordinate our activity. This programme is about providing a single worker, that can bring agencies together and provide the support that families need.

Project worker: I am a project worker, we work with families with multiple problems, which is often intergenerational and entrenched. We work with the whole family, but with a child focus. We have small caseloads, we can work with a family for up to 18 months.

A Mum: the project has helped me put in boundaries, understand my children a lot more, work with my children.

Project worker: I have been working with families for over three years, in that time, I have really seen the benefit of the long term, whole family work that we do. Really noticed the difference and changes in families, we work holistically with every family member, build their confidence and trust.

A Mum: You have to having a trusting relationship with them, and my experience is, they put a lot of things in place for me to help me with my parenting, my boundaries, understanding my children a lot more.

Project worker: Often there are a lot of agencies involved, and families are really overwhelmed with what is expected of them, and often, they don’t know what is expected of them, and they are being pulled in one direction to another. So my job is to really co-ordinate that, and take it one step at a time, often in baby steps to achieve what they need.

A Mum: I don’t get judged, they support me they don’t judge my parenting they help me rather than tell me that is the way I have got to do it. It is working together, having a trusting relationship, so that I don’t fell that I am being intimidated.

Project worker: In my experience the project approach is the best way forward in tackling those deep entrenched family issues, that not only impact families, but impact on communities and societies on the whole.

PC Plod: We have already seen a big success with the project workers, and in X and Y for example we have seen a 64% reduction in antisocial behaviour with those families that have engaged

County council rep: We are not seeing this as a 3 year project which ‘troubled families’ is about, we believe that if we can move this forward in the service, we believe we can get¬†sustained¬†improvement in those families that have real troubles, and perhaps we wont be seeing the children and the grandchildren of the parents that we are helping now and that is our drive because in the end, we are spending ¬£9 BILLION of tax payers money and we have to question if you are not getting good results why are you spending the money that way? Far better to invest it in a far better outcome, which I really think we will deliver.

A Mum: Well, it is a lot more calmer in my house now, I am not so stressed up anymore. The project have made me understand that there are other ways of dealing with my children’s behaviour in the aspect of parenting, getting different strategies, I just feel so more, its like a chip has been taken off my shoulder, because I know that I have got someone on the other end of the phone I can talk to if I am having a stressful day.

PC Plod: To tackle some of the difficult problems in society like crime and disorder we have to take a long term view, we have to help that person when they were a child by supporting their family, it is a bit like those who built the cathedrals in our country, those who laid the foundations many of whom never saw the end result, and that is what this project is about, it is about getting upstream and providing support for that family so that that child grows up not to be a criminal, but to be a positive member of society.

A Mum: I would like to thank the project, for all their work, if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be where I am today with my children and having a happy life with my kids, and I hope their work continues, particularly with other parents the same as what they have given me. Hope in life.¬†So thank you.


Yes because that’s it, just send round some jumped up parenting prodigy to help me non judgementally turn my parenting around so that my child doesn’t become a criminal and become a burden to society!


My child has a disability NOT A FLAMING ASBO!

It is disgusting!

I don’t even know what to do now. I am seriously Peed off!


Today Dinky was quite relaxed. We went to watch the Lego Movie, she struggled a little but had her ear defenders on throughout, But she absolutely loved it!

We went shopping and she was busy on her Ipad in the trolley with a Lego movie App. I managed to get all the bits for her party on Sunday! So we are almost there!

Dinky is nearly 6!!!

TAC- February


The day didn’t exactly start on a good note.

Dinky was refusing to walk to school, was crying, and screaming.  I managed to talk her round after she stopped screaming, I had put her new animal record breakers book in her bag to share with her new 1:1. Plus I snuck simba in too!

I got to the school and was pleased to see the head of nuture, she seemed ok, although was shuffling a little. She came and spoke to me after her 1:1 came to get her. Dinky had done her a card which I popped into the school yesterday. She said that I shouldn’t apologise, Dinky had an off moment and she was feeling much better.

We went into the head’s office we had:

Me, SNL (SN leader), SW (social worker), MHK (my mental health keyworker), DH (deputy head), STA (specialist TA), SCOM (social communication team), LP (lead professional from integrated services) and PP ( parent partnership)

The Muppet sent her apologies for not being able to attend, some other muppet thought it would be a good idea to put her into a school which has an Ofsted inspection!

I can not remember the exact conversation but remember quotes or close enough and the general order.

So we got started on the actions from last TAC.

1) school to set up meeting with SaLT, school and me- FAIL

2) PPM- held- win!

3) Ed Psych-Done

4) reintegration into mainstream- at this point I laughed quite loudly, as did the SNL, the LP, and the DH said, we shall skip that one shall we? I said the whole idea was overly optimistic!

SOCOM: Have you looked at an alternative placement.

Me: yes, I went to see x and y schools and both said they could meet her needs both the PDA and the educational needs. z school said they couldn’t see it being the best place as they are all trained in specific typical autism strategies, and those do not always work with children with PDA.

SOCOM: I agree, X school would be good, there are children there who are more academically able but Dinky is unable to access the curriculum due to her PDA, in mainstream she will always fall behind.

Me: Just the thought of her walking into a year 2 classroom fills me with dread! She cant cope in a small nurture group- which is only temporary, there is no way she would cope in a class of 30.

SOCOM: I agree.

(which is brilliant as she sits on the panel for statements in our county!)

5) FLW- finished

6) “self sooth” techniques to be taught- yeah ok! Didn’t happen

7) Advice for behaviour from local autism behaviour person- nothing new.

8) New lead- apparently that is complicated.

It started off with the LP asking the SW what her role was.

SW: I got a referral from school regarding sexualised behaviour, I am now carrying out a children and family assessment, which takes 45 days. I came to the TAC to get a better picture of the support in place and PDA.

LP: So not involved for behaviour

SW: no.

LP: the school also reported that Dinky has refused to come home, and that you said something to Dinky which was overheard by school.

Me: Ok, I hold my up, I am not a perfect parent, it is impossible. Yes I told dinky on a day where I was stressed to the hilt that if she wanted to stay at school, then she could stay and social services would come get her. I hated myself as soon as I said it and she is 5 and has no idea who social services are. I had just had enough that day.

Everyone said they understood.

SOCOM: it can be very stressful as a parent.

LP asked SNL about her latest involvement. SNL said that Dinky had been to a couple of trips before Christmas, but none since then as the football match was cancelled. I have been supporting Dinky’s mum.

SW: how have you supported DM?

SNL: I am at the end of the phone. When Dinky gets excluded, I phone DM and ask her what happened and talk to her.

LP then asked MHK about her involvement.

MHK: working with Dinky’s mum, regarding her mental health. However this is difficult as DM only has Dinky on her mind. With all the exclusions, DM hasn’t managed to make any of the younger adults group activities. We have stretched the sessions out as DM has been let down, badly, by services in her past. The past that led to the PTSD. Once we have Dinky settled, we can work on helping DM.

I told them about the latest Paediatrician report, and that OT was helpful.

DH was talking about the latest exclusion and how it was the worst they had seen Dinky. She also said that they wanted to put her on a part time timetable. Starting (surprise surprise…) today.

Me: dinky has been going downhill for a while, I did tell the head in July that this would happen. I have been banging on the door for months and no one listened until it got this far. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, I felt awful, as did Dinky.

DH: I know and you have been co- operative with this exclusion.

Me: yes but the reason things have been so difficult is that there have been loads of changes and no one thought to discuss them with Dinky, or me so that I could prepare her.

DH: we have discussed this and I do think you have a valid point, however, we had to be reactive as some of those changes had to be made, and we will be communicating better now, and I shall be taking point.

SNL: I am glad that the school are finally admitting there is a problem.

DH: I don’t know what you mean

SNL: In one TAC meeting the school said that there were no problems.

DH: Who said that?

SNL: The head. In November. I don’t want to bash her as she is not here.

DH: Well, that is not quite how we see it, and it sounds like that is what you are doing though.

SNL: Well, it is the truth! (I love SNL in meetings!)

The prospect of a junior PRU came up. The SOCOM said that it probably wouldn’t be suitable as it is the same as a nurture group.

SW: we have talked about Dinky, but what do YOU need, not Dinky YOU.

Me: I haven’t thought about it, I just need Dinky to be settled. We have a long day and longer with part time timetable. I guess the thing that will help me would be having time where Dinky is somewhere and I wont get a phone call, where I can relax for a little while.

The LP said that they were going to involve a family initiative fun by the county council. She didn’t explain what it was but said they might be able to help.


The meeting finished and most of them left, leaving me, Socom, STA, DH, and PP. For a meeting regarding the exclusions.

Dinky will finish school at 1.15pm, this will be on 2 weekly reviews.

SOCOM said she doesn’t see why Dinky wouldn’t get a statement. She cant say yes, definitely, but it would surprise her if she didn’t get one.

STA photocopied the advice forms from the OT, and are going to put it into place.

So that is ok.

I had lunch then went to get Dinky. She was actually waiting for me. (which made me chuckle, as she was waiting to come home and was ready to go!)


I will write about the rest of my day tomorrow… it includes a copy of the letter the Muppet sent the MP, and what the family initiative REALLY is.