I don’t post in nearly a week and then do three posts in 2 days!
Unhappy with the social worker this morning, I felt it best to get in early and explain that I wasn’t happy.
Well I was NOT expecting the call that I got back from the social workers manager.
I was so upset and angry, that I didn’t take mental note of how the conversation went, so it might not make sense as bits are out of sequence.
Me: I was unhappy with the SW this morning, despite me telling her numerous times that she shouldn’t talk to dinky when dinky was upset as it will make it worse, she completely ignored me, and that led to me getting bitten, my hair pulled and to be kicked and punched as Dinky went into meltdown.
SWM: well, I am disappointed, there will be No changing social worker, if you have a problem we can iron it out and we will take things on board.
Me: well, that would be great if I had someone to have Dinky
SWM: well, I am surprised as the social worker is brilliant and very experienced
Me: so how many children has she worked with who have PDA?
SWM: she is very good at her job.
Me: so how come I had to do the running for the direct payments?
SWM: we have big case loads and we do ask you to find someone … Blah blah on a tangent ….
Me: that’s not what I am talking about, the people you will refer me to to help me have said that the social work team is supposed to work out costing, let me know how much it is, and I work with the direct payment people to draw up a contract and sort out insurance ect.
Like I don’t have enough to do, I have her statement which is delayed, her diagnostic appointment on Monday, I could do without having to work out how much I need to cover getting someone to have Dinky.
SWM: sometimes we have to ask parents to take on these responsibilities. Because you don’t have a partner unfortunately you have to do it on your own. But we are doing it
Me: yes finally.
SWM: well if you want to come down here we can discuss it.
Me: yes, but I haven’t got anyone to have Dinky, that is the problem! I’m so stressed out with it all, it is still going to take a few weeks! I feel lie, sending her back to that awful school just to get a break and get things done.
this is where it gets interesting… For you, for me I just wanted to reach down the phone and slap her! And I’m not violent!
SWM: you should send her back to the school, they would be delighted to have her back.
Me: no they wouldn’t, they may say that to you, but they excluded her 9 times in 10 weeks they have no idea what they are doing
SWM: yes they do they are the professionals
Me: pfft no they are not! 9 exclusions in 10 weeks and ended on a part time timetable- they can’t meet her needs, they also said they could fix my child!
SWM: you need to trust people, you need to work to getting little dinky back in school. You took her out, you need to take responsibility for that and live with that decision, that is why she is home all the time
Me: they can’t meet her needs!
SWM: you are making yourself ill and you have to take responsibility for that too. If you make yourself so Unwell who is going to look after Dinky?
Me: which is why we need support
SWM: and we have identified that and are in the process of sorting it. I am very disappointed, SW wants to work with you and I want to work with you but you need to decide whether or not you take that on, or we stop working with you completely.
Me: you have no idea how stressful it is
SWM: you need to learn to trust people to have dinky it is not healthy not to let her go.
Me: I have no problem letting dinky go with other people, she is going with her special needs group. And I would be happy to leave her for 9 hours with the person I have asked to take on the work of PA. It isn’t a case of not wanting to leave her, it is a case of the people having her being able to do it.
SWM: well, you still need to trust people. I have a meeting to get to. You decide whether you want our help, or whether you don’t.
I hung up the phone!
I cried my eyes out, and then was absolutely furious!
First of all, I am sick of professionals taking the schools word as gospel, she wouldn’t even be at school full time, she won’t be in a classroom and she would have an untrained 1:1 in a room you can barely fit a desk in!
Her teacher would throw a fit if she had Dinky back in the classroom.
The other point is that it has been noted WHY I don’t trust social services. I guess it is easier to blame me and get me so angry I tell them to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine than it is for them to do their jobs!
Why do I always find the muppets?