24- an autism (PDA) day

12am- Time for bed.

1am- still asleep

2am- Dinky has been awake for 20 minutes and had come downstairs. I hear her in the kitchen, I know she is trying to find her iPad. I peel myself off my bed and stumble out to the kitchen and tell her that her iPad is sleeping (out of habit) and that we need to change her bedtime pad. So we go into the toilet, I take out the saturated pad and put it in a nappy sack and place it in the bin, Dinky is then trying to get hold of the toothpaste to squirt it everywhere. I stop her, and manage to wipe her and get the new pad in. I took her back up to her bedroom and tell her it is still night time and asked her what that meant. She didn’t want to answer and kicked me instead, luckily my reactions are quick and she only got a glancing blow in as I jumped back.
“Boys house later?” Dinky asks as I go to leave. “Yes, we are going to boys house for dinner later, but first you need to be sleeping!”
I go back downstairs and the dog is wagging her tail and sticking her tongue out. I then open the front door and let the dog go for a wee outside.
Back to my room and lay down, all I can hear is the springs on the mini trampette and it banging on the floor in Dinky’s room as she jumps up and down. I make the 100th mental note to buy some sort of mat or rug to go under it to see in that helps the banging noise.

3am- Dinky is still bouncing, my eyes are heavy and I’m slowly getting more and more wound up. But she passes out not long after 3.

4am- sleeping

5am- dinky is up and the dog has left to join her in the living room as she puts the tv on full blast so the neighbours can also hear ninjago that I had recorded for her. I sneak an extra 15 minutes, before peel if myself once again off my bed in time for the adverts. I have to get in quick before Dinky presses fast forward. I just manage in time and we go to the bathroom and I dispose of the bedtime pad. I wipe her and know that tooth brushing will be tricky, so I think about how to word it, “hmmm let me see those beautiful teeth!”. Dinky grins. “Hmmm I think they need a bit of a polish… What do you think?”. Dinky thinks about it, “no thanks” and she runs back into the living room. Another ridiculous advert, and dinky is back to ninjago. She hangs upside down and kicks her legs on the back of the sofa.

6am- I feed the dog and Dinky asks me to get her breakfast bits. I grab a bowl, spoon, cereal and milk. Dinky likes to pour it herself and goes ‘into one’ if I do it, so I watch on as dinky gets cereal all over the table and drops bits on the floor. Then the milk… I purposely buy small 1 pint bottles so they are easier to pour, which they are, but Dinky still manages to pour it in the bowl and then on the table. I tidy the milk and clear up the cereal which didn’t make it into the bowl before the dog gets it.

7am- Dinky is hanging upside down again on the sofa and I go through the day with her.. We are going to get dressed, take the dog for a walk, and go to the autism friendly screening of ‘the nut job’. She asks what then. I tell her we come home and then go to her new friends house for dinner.

8am- I have been trying to get Dinky ready for the past 15 minutes but to no avail. Dinky was hiding in the tent. The poor dog was crying and was desperate for the toilet.
Dinky was having none of it

9am- FINALLY got dinky dressed after a lot of her refusing to wear the clothes that I picked out, yet refusing to pick clothes to wear, I put all of her clothes on and put her pjs in the wash basket.
Dinky went to the toilet and was in there for a while, so I had to go and wipe her before trying the tooth brushing again… Nope.
I put her shoes on and we took the dog out. Dinky say on the bench while I threw the ball for the dog and cleared up her mess.
Dinky had my phone and had ‘everything is awesome’ on repeat.

10am- nearly time to get the bus to the cinema, dinky had opted for the bus that starts just near our house but is a 5 minute walk from the bus stop to the cinema.
So we get ready again, dinky packs loads of toys and 2 teddies into her back pack and we head out.
Dinky wanted to lay down on the seat at the bus stop but there was someone sitting on it. She didn’t talk, just looked at the seat and at me and growled, I knew instinctively what it was about. She couldn’t talk because of the stranger, so kicked me instead. Again thanks to my reactions I managed not to take the full whack!
The person at the bus stop just looked at me with disgust as I then, instead of punishing Dinky, told her it would be ok, the bus was due and therefore it wouldn’t be long before she could sit next to me.
The bus then came, Dinky got on and went to the seats near the pole. She began spinning round the pole. The person from the bus stop was gawping at Dinky, I so badly wanted to go down to her and tell her that if dinky had a physical disability she wouldn’t be so judgemental!
A group of people got on the bus a few stops after we got on and dinky was not happy, she shouted “STRANGERS” and was bouncing between the seats. The bus stopped and dinky ran off the bus. I ran after her. Luckily, she had jumped off in a place that wasn’t too bad to get to the cinema still.
Dinky was then talking very fast about dinosaurs in walking with dinosaurs.

11am- the film is about to start, I am sitting with Dinky’s new friend’s mum as the kids are running around before the film starts. I then went to get dinky to settle her a bit before the film. Then another lad came in. He has a diagnosis of autistic traits and is very impulsive and rarely listens to his parents. I wanted to get dinky sat down as she would be running round and causing mayhem with him given half the chance. So I got dinky to come and sit back in our seats and the lad wanted to sit with us. Thankfully his dad came and he went back down to the bottom. I didn’t want to be cruel but I didn’t pay for the cinema for dinky to create merry hell and miss the film that she wanted to see. Even with the CEA card it was cheaper but I’m still not up for throwing my money away!

12pm- dinky had found sitting still near on Impossible and the thought of her initial appointment with CAMHS on Tuesday to discuss ADHD was seeming more and more needed. The impulsive lad had begun to run around and then can up to us. I asked him politely but firmly to sit in the seats infront of us as Dinky was trying to watch the film, and he did, instantly. His mum came up to get him and he wasn’t listening, he then went back down with her, only to run back up again after a short period of time, run back up to us, then crawled across the back of the cinema, much to his mother’s dismay.
As much as I knew it wasn’t helping, I had to keep reminding Dinky to stay in her seat and watch the film. But again, if I’d given her an inch she would have taken a mile.
The film finishes and I’m desperate for the toilet but Dinky wants to dance. So I patiently wait, then the impulsive lad began to jump up onto the ledge in front of the screen, instantly I asked dinky if she should be doing that and another parent shouted down to their boy not to join the lad. Only then did I hear the mum softly say ‘no don’t do that’.
I was now urgently trying to get Dinky to leave, she asked how we were getting home so I told her we were going by bus.
A parent of a child Dinky used to play with a lot before the ‘living in a hostel’ thing was there and dinky went up to her and asked if she could drive us home. I said no before the parent could, I was instantly annoyed by Dinky’s insistence on asking people for lifts like a mini hitchhiker!
I pulled dinky out of the cinema to the toilet. I went and then helped Dinky and wiped her, washed her hands with her and left. Dinky walked out with a other child and I had to pull her away because we were going to miss our bus.

1pm- we missed our bus because Dinky was sitting on the floor refusing to move. In the end I gave her a piggy back ride to the bus stop of the bus that stops 10 minutes from our house. Dinky is not a light child, nor is she over weight, she is just a six year old, healthy, sturdy child. I was tired just carrying her to the bus stop.
Dinky then kicked off because I don’t drive. Punched and kicked and screamed at, we got on the bus.
Dinky did not want to walk, she was throwing out avoidance tactic after avoidance tactic. In the end she agreed to walk and to give examples of how I could get a car, each less likely than the one before it.
We had lunch, dinky had the same lunch food that she has everyday.

2pm- dad cancelled on us, so we went to Dinky’s friends house early. Again dinky was talking non stop about how I should and could get a car.
We got to the house and I gave the mum Dinky’s hotdogs as dinky won’t eat anything else at the moment. I had, on the way over explained about his new rabbit, and about how much we show we love the animals. Picking up cats and playing with them… Not ok, as they don’t like it. Also the rabbit is new, so you need to listen to the mum as she will say what you can and can’t do with the rabbit.

3pm- dinky was being controlling and had already picked up a cat to play with it on the slide. She was trying to control the boy (ASD and ADHD), but the boy was not very happy due to lots of recent changes and the two were alternating between playing well together and fighting. Both of us parents were ready to jump in at a moments notice to break up any issues. Both never truly relaxing.

4pm- still more nice playing than issues, but dinky was being rather avoidant, the level of my unease had gone up as dinky hid under the trampoline. I did say, we should probably go, but Dinky’s rigid thinking meant she wouldn’t as she was told she was having dinner at the boys house.

5pm- issues were happening every 10 minutes and I had tried to get dinky to agree to leave but she wanted to eat, but the other mum couldn’t cook and leave me to the two of them while they were being physical with each other.

5.45pm- I decided to call it a day, it was past Dinky’s normal dinner time and both kids were struggling, I tried to explaining to dinky who went into a complete meltdown over it. I took the physical abuse and got her shoes on, in the end I had to firemans lift her home while she was kicking and screaming at me.

6pm- once we got home it wasn’t long before she settled with a hotdog. I decided to forgo the bath time mayhem and get her ready for bed. She managed to take her slow release melatonin tablet and went upstairs. She was banging around in her room.

7pm- still banging around her room while I got myself some dinner. Dinky came down to ask me what I was having for dinner while I put the washing on.

8pm- dinky comes down for the 5th time and I have to once again help her in the bathroom. Then I hung out the washing.

9pm- dinky is quiet.

10pm- dinky is definitely asleep. I finished Dinky’s form for CAMHS.

11pm- I read my book for an hour to wind down.

12am- bedtime!

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