Dinky’s school

Sometimes I get the impression, when they talk to me, that they don’t feel she belongs there, hence my last post on her school I made the point that this was the ONLY school that would take her out of the many on county and more out of county schools that were approached.

Yet IN school, they do the right things and are so PDA friendly in the class it is unreal! 

This is the right environment even if she is working at a level slightly above her classmates and talks much more than the average child in the school. 

It makes her feel safe and comfortable enough to do school work, which in itself is a minor miracle- she has done more work in 2 terms at this school than she did in 4.5 terms she was in mainstreams. 

When it comes to PDA most parents face a choice academics or child’s mental health. 99.999% choose the latter! I am not bothered if Dinky never gets GCSEs, if the only way to get her then is to push her and make her so anxious that she can’t cope with life. 

So there is no need for the school to bang on about her ‘potential’ (which is not much further than where she is now, and that is halted by her PDA). 

This week Dinky got star of the week for counting in twos. She made such a great effort she even got a postcard from her teacher praising her for her effort.

Most people with PDA don’t like praise. Dinky doesn’t mind it as long as it isn’t linked to compliance- I could praise her all day for her doing something nice of her own free will, but I would instantly regret praising her for doing something I asked of her! 

The school understand this, and all the certificates that paper my wall are for things Dinky herself has done without the help or at the asking of an adult. 

This means she is very proud of them- almost as much as I am proud of her for getting them! 

This school has made Dinky enjoy being there! Which is some feat for an education establishment! She told me she is staying in her class forever and then as an adult she will work in her class (while living at home with mummy).

So as much as they make me feel she doesn’t belong- they are precisely the right place for her! 

One thought on “Dinky’s school

  1. I so get this. We made exactly the same ‘mental health and happiness before all else’ choice. I completely switch off whenever anyone starts talking about ‘levels’ of any description – I have no interest in anyone else’s arbitrary notions of what constitutes progress. Nor do I understand society’s obsession with attaining a dozen A* GCSE grades at 16 years of age. Education lasts a lifetime – and it’s not all about having a specific ability to sit exams. I want my child to know HOW to think, not what to think – and to enjoy the process of learning. Passing tests doesn’t even figure into it. It’s lovely that Dinky wants to stay in her class and work there when she’s older. By anyone’s reasoning, that speaks of success right now. Xx

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