When the rules don’t seem to apply

This is a very ASD/PDA thing. 

For the last 4 weeks Dinky’s class have been working on road safety.

(Personally I think this is brave! I wouldn’t attempt this with Dinky’s class unless we did it in a playground with fake roads drawn on! That or all be wearing bubble wrap and fat suits!) 

I was told by Dinky’s teacher that they all got a certificate, (which is now on our wall at home).

She could tell I was sceptical of Dinky’s new found road awareness! She then said the words I was waiting to hear “Dinky does know her road safety, she can tell me the rules, but she can’t apply those rules to herself in practice”

It is one of those times where you really want to say “yeah, tell me about it! Danger awareness Zero and thinks she is invincible!”

But I just agree. 

It can be quite interesting when the rules don’t seem to apply to your child, despite you trying so hard to reason with them and explain that they are actually part of EVERYBODY and they are not excluded from the law either!

Of course most 7 year olds do not understand what law is, and neither does dinky! While of course there is a major amusing side to this, there is also the not so funny.

Obviously it endangers her life, not being able to implement road safety is a major concern, I’m not always as fast as she is, and if I don’t catch her when she runs- well, to date we have only had near misses and I grab her at the first sign of running or when we go near a road. 

It can really mess with friendships too, dinky is great at telling everyone else how to behave, she completely parrots the exact wording I tell her when she is doing the same thing, but she doesn’t see how this also applies to herself- she has been known to tell kids not to run up the slide not 10 seconds before doing it herself! Of course this leads to other kids thinking she is just being bossy and mean. Nope, she really just doesn’t get it. 

It can be really frustrating as at times you feel that telling the wall might have been a better option than tell your child who tells you they know (in a trademark stroppy child way) when you try every conceivable way of explaining things! 

I just go with the flow now, I’m getting used to people who don’t get dinky whispering that I ‘obviously can’t be bothered to teach my child how to behave nicely’ – when in reality I’ve tried bloody hard but she just doesn’t get it, I have more chance of teaching her quantum physics! 

It isn’t even defiance or lack of boundaries or anything like that, it would be easier if It was! It would be easier if I was a shit parent because then I could go on parenting courses and be better and problem solved! 

It is purely not understanding, hopefully as she gets bigger this will change. Hopefully, with any luck, fingers crossed. 
(Oooooooh also Dinky’s teacher has requested to go to the next national autistic society PDA conference this year! Really love this school!)

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