Genetics not parenting!

For those that follow this blog regularly or for a long time-you will know already how much I struggled in the beginning to get Dinky’s needs recognised. 

I was at a social care innovation meeting yesterday and the idea was brought up that I go on the video explaining the assessment process- I don’t have an issue being filmed in the general sense, but I do worry about people’s inability to see past appearance. 

I felt that people may think it wasn’t a child disability assessment service because I am often seen as a parent who would have other reasons for a social care assessment- like what the second school pulled.

I have mentioned before that I am seen as a ‘chav in a hat’, maybe not quite so much anymore since I swapped my Nike trainers for walking trainers, my typical baseball cap for a Harry Potter one with a ‘military’ style shape, and sometimes wear fleeces instead of hoodies, but the hoodies I do have are not sports brands anymore. It is sad that I felt I had to alter my apperance because people were judging my parenting and dismissing my daughters needs based on it. 

I will never forget both mainstream head teachers, not so subtly, remind me that I am working class and ‘less’ than them. 

That is me, and I’m ok with that, but when that is instantly used as a reason for a child’s struggles to the exclusion of the evidence before them… Well, that is NOT ok! 

I remember the feeling when I went back to the school with Dinky’s ASD-PDA diagnosis. It was brilliant! It was proof that my parenting was not the cause- the chav in a hat is capable of decent parenting. 

I will have to admit that they were right on one count…. it is my fault Dinky is ‘the way she is’ but not in the way they thought….

genetics- not parenting. 

Legoland hotel stay- coping with change 

For the past 2 nights Dinky and I have stayed at legoland hotel in Windsor. 

As merlin pass holders living 1 hour away from legoland, we are regulars! But not to the hotel because one of its very few faults is that it is quite expensive to stay over. 

Dinky has been very excited for the past month! She has been looking at pictures of the kingdom room which we had booked and getting very excited about it!

For the most part everything was great. 

Unfortunately Dinky really struggles with change to a routine. When we come to Legoland we tend to go to the ‘beginning’ and work our way down. However because we were staying at the hotel, we came through the hotel entrance. Dinky had it in her mind that she wanted to see the room, but that wasn’t going to be available until 3pm. 

As much as I tried to explain it to Dinky she was not happy and she became rather upset and began to meltdown (crying, rocking hard and not being able to verbalise). I tried to calm her but it was one of those situations where she had to ‘get it out’.

Once she was happier we managed to get her ride access pass and go on some rides before finally checking out our room. Dinky was so excited on the rides and she was super happy with the room. It was nice to see such a massive smile and some very happy flapping! 

We made it to the evening entertainment where she enjoyed some dancing, but when it came to the game musical bumps she just couldn’t take part. Whether it was a PDA avoidance thing or a not understanding thing, I don’t know, but she got rather frustrated by it, and ended up being on stage with the mascot Ollie the Dragon. Which she loved! 

But 45 minutes was enough and we went back to our room.

We had brought the weighted blanket with us and her favourite teddy, so she was happy to stay in the Lego bed. 

She was up in the night and it took time to reassure her that we were at the hotel and while it was different, everything was OK. 

The next morning Dinky again struggled with the way we entered the park, and refused to go on the early ride to begin with as she didn’t have her RAP yet as the guest services didn’t open until 10. I managed to convince her to go in the regular queue and she did, the queue was smaller than it was if we had gone later in the day in the RAP queue. 

Still, she wasn’t happy with the change and she insisted that for the rest of the day she was to go ‘her special way’ (which is what she calls the RAP queue). So we did and again she had a really good day, when it began to rain we went to the hotel pool and then back to our room for a rest.

By this point I was shattered and I needed a break too! So I welcomed her decision to miss the evening entertainment! 

Today was our last day, currently she is playing in the Lego pit in the hotel play area. 

She seems happy that today is the last day and that it is home time soon. 

Most kids are not happy to be going back to school, but we’ve had a fun packed 2 and a half weeks and Dinky can’t wait to tell her school friends, teacher and teaching assistants about her holidays!