Dinky is growing

I am constantly amazed by Dinky, more often since starting her special school.

She is just growing and achieving beyond what I thought was possible 18 months ago. Readers are going to start getting bored of me praising the school, but I cant thank them enough.

Dinky’s communication has improved a lot.. she has always been a talker but not a fantastic communicator, I learnt very early on that the two aren’t mutually exclusive. Now she can tell me when she feels sad and instead of running off, she will ask for something.

I laughed so hard the other morning when I had this conversation with Dinky (she was in a state of lower anxiety which was great)…

Me: Yes you can have a snack once you are dressed

So with my help she gets her t-shirt, pants and trousers on… and promptly runs out of the room…

me: where are you going? You’re not dressed yet

Dinky comes back to the door- looks at me with deep concentration on her face as she sees me holding up a pair of socks… She motions to her top and trousers and

Dinky: Technically… Dressed!

Me: But you haven’t got your socks on (I was trying so hard not to laugh)

Dinky: Not Nakie (naked)

She won that one- I tried so so hard not to laugh! I put her socks on while she had an apple.

I was just so proud of her being able to use a technicality to get her way. I know most parents would be annoyed, but technically it is my own fault for not specifying which items of clothing constituted being dressed and as she frequently runs around the house and school without socks- to her they are an optional extra.

Progress shouldn’t be monitored by exams and tests… it is the little things that can be a sign of great progress.


Genetics not parenting!

For those that follow this blog regularly or for a long time-you will know already how much I struggled in the beginning to get Dinky’s needs recognised. 

I was at a social care innovation meeting yesterday and the idea was brought up that I go on the video explaining the assessment process- I don’t have an issue being filmed in the general sense, but I do worry about people’s inability to see past appearance. 

I felt that people may think it wasn’t a child disability assessment service because I am often seen as a parent who would have other reasons for a social care assessment- like what the second school pulled.

I have mentioned before that I am seen as a ‘chav in a hat’, maybe not quite so much anymore since I swapped my Nike trainers for walking trainers, my typical baseball cap for a Harry Potter one with a ‘military’ style shape, and sometimes wear fleeces instead of hoodies, but the hoodies I do have are not sports brands anymore. It is sad that I felt I had to alter my apperance because people were judging my parenting and dismissing my daughters needs based on it. 

I will never forget both mainstream head teachers, not so subtly, remind me that I am working class and ‘less’ than them. 

That is me, and I’m ok with that, but when that is instantly used as a reason for a child’s struggles to the exclusion of the evidence before them… Well, that is NOT ok! 

I remember the feeling when I went back to the school with Dinky’s ASD-PDA diagnosis. It was brilliant! It was proof that my parenting was not the cause- the chav in a hat is capable of decent parenting. 

I will have to admit that they were right on one count…. it is my fault Dinky is ‘the way she is’ but not in the way they thought….

genetics- not parenting.