This weeks reflection and planning for next week and CAF

Sunday is my day to reflect on the week and work out the plan for next week.
The problem is I’m still waiting for lots of things so I will have to play it by ear mostly.
Reflections on last week…
Monday was the breast clinic appointment, and Dinky went to school after having 2 weeks off.
Tuesday, met the mind advocate, and Dinky ended up at the urgent treatment centre.
Wednesday, I signed the letter for CMHT, spoke to S too.
Thursday, dinky had a hard day at school
Friday, I found out about the school’s decision to hold a CAF meeting for dinky, spoke to the play therapist and with dinky’s teacher after school for 10 minutes.
Saturday, my dad came up, dinky was playing with the older kids that only stay here Friday night.

So it’s been an odd sort of week.
Dinky’s hand is so much better now. They put this special gauze on her hand which promotes healing and gave me the rest of the sheet. I think it has done wonders.
I’m glad the stuff with S is sorted. The breast clinic I’d rather forget about, and the CAF I can’t stop thinking about.

Plans for next week…
Monday= Bidding day, if any actionable post comes, action it. Also text the play therapist and ask to arrange a chat about dinky and what I can do to help and ask if she is coming to the CAF meeting. Speak to deputy head to find out more about the CAF meeting
Tuesday, see the play therapist if she is available, check post action anything if it comes.
Wednesday, nothing planned (check post)
Thursday nothing planned (check post)
Friday, blood donation
Saturday, dad is coming up

I spent much of today thinking about the CAF meeting and what it entails. I looked on the local county council website. Basically both the school and I answer loads of questions on the following…

• Section A – Health
• Section B – Emotional and Social Development
• Section C – Behavioural Development
• Section D – Identity – including Self Esteem, Self Image & Social Presentation
• Section E – Family & Social Relationships
• Section F – Self Care Skills & Independence
• Section G – Learning
• Section A – Basic Care & Ensuring Safety
• Section B – Emotional Warmth & Stability
• Section C – Guidance, Boundaries and Stimulation
• Section A – Family History, Functioning & Well-being
• Section B – Wider Family
• Section C – Housing, employment and financial considerations
• Section D – Social & Community Factors & Resources

So far I know that the head teacher, deputy head, dinky’s class teacher and myself are going to be there. I will ask the deputy head tomorrow if anyone else is attending this meeting.
Just with the three of them there I can see it being difficult. Especially when it gets to parent(s) and family & environmental, we all already know dinky’s development stuff.

These are some of the questions to consider in the CAF.. This entry would be too long if I listed all the yes and no answers…. So these are the no and nearly no’s and really positive yes answers


• Set up and maintain a household and its essential furniture…. HMM, I can do it but don’t have it.
• Keep house clean and tidy…… YES AND ISH… My place is always clean but not always tidy
• Protects from unsafe adults… YES, which is why she doesn’t see my mother
• Feels mentally well…
• Avoids illegal substances…YES

Section B
Emotional Warmth & Stability
• Live at the same address for a reasonable length of time… NO, dinky has lived in 5 places in 4 years.
• There is a consistent parent… YES…ME
• Contact is maintained with important family members…YES, I try to make sure it is it’s everyone else who doesn’t keep up with it

Section C
Guidance, Boundaries and Stimulation
• Manage the behaviour of the child … NOT ALWAYS
• Want the best for the child… MOST DEFINITELY

Section A
Family History, Functioning & Well-being
The impact of family situations and experiences
(I just hope they don’t want my childhood history)
My dad is physically and mentally fine
Dinky’s grandma is in remission from bowel cancer and is recovering still from a nasty break in her leg but is mentally stable

Section B Wider Family
Whether there is an appropriate level of help for the child, young person or parent(s) / carer(s) from relatives and others
• Family has positive relationship with their extended family… NO
• Family has positive relationship with others in the neighbourhood…NO
• Family receives appropriate support from their family…NOT REALLY. My dad sort of… No one else can be bothered.
• Family receives appropriate support from others in the neighbourhood…NO

Section C
Housing, employment and financial considerations
Whether the accommodation has everything needed for living healthily and safely
• Lives in a house that is big enough…. NO
• Accommodation is weather and water tight…YES
• Accommodation has water, heating, cooking, toilet and bathing facilities…YES
• Accommodation is clean, hygienic and safe… MOSTLY
• Accommodation is not shared with another family/household… NO
• Parent has regular employment … NO
• If unemployed are actively seeking employment… YES

Section D
Social & Community Factors & Resources
Explores the wider context of child’s neighbourhood and its impact on the child, including details of facilities and services available
• Lives in an area that has good transport links… MOSTLY
• Lives in an area that has good age appropriate facilities i.e. youth clubs and sports facilities..YES
• Lives in an area that has easy access to schools and shops… NO, well not to dinky’s school, and it’s a pain in the backside to go to the shops. Especially seeing as the road from the hostel has no pavements and it is always a battle if dinky plays up to feel she is safe of that road.

hopefully it won’t be too bad. I just have to make sure I know who is going to be there so there is no shock on the day. It would help if the play therapist is there because she has already asked me all my history. It would certainly make it easier.

Deputy head and play therapist going the extra mile!

Apart from the fact I was pretty annoyed yesterday at the school for letting her get her hand wet, the school have been great today.
I got to the school at 8.20, went to the office to ask to drop dinky’s antibiotics off. I got in and the school nurse wasn’t there so we waited with one of the lads dinky knows. The deputy head came over to see me and dinky. She told me that she had spoken to dinky’s play therapist and her class teacher and they had set a date to do a common assessment framework form (more commonly known as a CAF), the deputy head is sick of waiting for the integrated services to get their act together, so they are being proactive. It sounds quite positive, it’s basically the form integrated services would do. It indicates all the issues we are facing as a family.
The teacher told me they had set it for the 25th January at 9am.

I booked dinkys party at wacky warehouse! She is going to be over the moon. I’ve stopped smoking for 5 days and had saved enough for the deposit for the party! So all good there.

I got home and then got a call from the play therapist.
She asked how Christmas was. I told her it wasn’t great but it was the best I could do. She told me that dinky was doing really well given the circumstances. She had started playing out the move from the house we lived in with C and P. She is very angry at the whole situation.
Dinky has also said she feels like she doesn’t belong anywhere. Which breaks my heart. she doesn’t connect with her peers and spends more of her playtime with older kids. I knew dinky spent her playtime with older kids and was a little concerned that she only wanted to invite 2 children in her year group, one from her class and one from the neighbouring class, other than that it is all year one and two students. She also commented on dinky’s refusal to go into school without kicking off because I’m not there. She said I am dinky’s only stability in life so she doesn’t feel safe without me there. Which again is heart breaking. Dinky is also refusing to do schoolwork again, and the new TA can’t get her to do anything and nor can the teacher.
She said not to get too disheartened. She says it is amazing that we are doing as well as we are given the circumstances. It really doesn’t feel like it. The play therapist said she wished that she could do more to help dinky, she said if she could see her everyday she would as dinky gets really excited knowing she is going to see her. It is the only day she eats, brushes her teeth, gets dressed without any fuss. She walks nicely to the bus stop, plays on my iPhone nicely, and doesn’t create complete havoc in the playground before school, just a little bit of chaos! Which is fine, she wouldn’t be dinky if she didn’t! She has a big smile on her face which is the biggest difference.

I’m glad she has one day where she is happy to be at school and gets so much out of it.

So 25th Jan, CAF form. And go from there!

I might have a chat with her teacher today after school, it seems that her teacher is finally taking this whole situation more seriously.

Let’s see